Friday, November 27, 2009

8 ball corner pocket ( forgot to post some months past)

The title has nothing to do with anything I am going to say except that it has been over 8 months now since my accident. I realized after reading back a few posts that I have not given much of an update on my progress/health. I don't want to bore you all so I will say it as fast as I can.
After more than 200 days with open wounds on my head, I am all healed up. Due to the rotation of my scalp, I have some hairs growing down and sideways instead of up. this is cause for very minor ingrown hair pain mostly when I shampoo my head. As you read before, I now have a trauma induced cataract. While looking into that more they found a very small hole in my retina ( Macular). The docs will watch that and I may have to have a retina surgery down the road. My leg coordination is getting better. I have noticed that when I do very strenuous workouts, ie climbing San Marco Pass and Painted Cave roads on my bike, my legs feel a little funny the days following. I am sure this will pass. I go back Dec 10 for a check up where they will ask me (again) if I want to have the tissue expansion and all that to get my hair line back somewhat the way it was. At this point it is something I do not want to do. Another 6 or more surgeries and countless trips to Sherman Oaks is not something I want to do right now.
Thanksgiving: This is my favorite holiday. We planned to make a trip to Mexico to be with my folks but my mom was again having a hard time and had to go back into the hospital. Have you ever held someone is such high esteem that words can't do them justice? Words like strong, loving, kind, non-complaining, selfless, tough, and faithful are close but they seem flat at the same time. Those were a few words that describe my mom and my dad. If its not my mom's strong, tough, non-complaining grit its my dad's loving, kind, selfless, faithful actions that leave me speechless. In an era where the average marraige lasts 7 years, and you learn that my parents have been together for 56 you get the feeling you are among the "greats" when it comes to relationships. It's not just the 56 years but 56 years of loving, devoted kindness to each other that sets them apart. How can I learn to love like this? Do I have what it takes to leave the comforts of home for several months and be at the side of Heather 24/7? And when I say 24/7, I mean every moment. A few weeks ago as we visited them, Jeff heard my parents getting up in the middle of the night for yet another shuffle to the bathroom. Mom needed help getting her IV and stand into the bathroom. Mom looked up at Dad in the dark and said "thanks for loving me" and my dad responded to her " honey, I love you so much." That may seem like a typical husband wife routine but when you put it in the context of where they were and what time it was, and what they have gone through, it made we want to cry. 1 Corinthians 13 comes to mind.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

7 months

A little update on my mom. Appearently my mom should have been a Navy SEAL or something because her will to live is amazing. After 2 American doctors told her to go home and get Hospice she decided to go back down to Mexico for more alternative treatment. Though she is hurting on a daily/hourly basis, she continues to fight and fight well. Fight well? How do you fight well? You fight with a daily smile and chin up attitude. You fight without blame or pity. You fight by loving those around you though you are tired and in pain. Love doesn't take a day off in my mom's life.
How often do we lash out at those around us when we are uncomfortable, sick or just had a bad day. What a great example Jacquelin is of a person who does not let her circumstances dictate her outlook and love for others and life.
Another hero of mine is my Dad. I asked him a year ago or more as I was trying to formulate some thoughts on "what it means to be a man" so I could show this to my son and train him. My Dad didn't say being a man was someone who read their bible everyday though that is a great step to being a man. He also did not say that being a man was being a strong leader though that too is a great step to being man. What he said was "Being a man is doing the dishes, cleaning up the house and cooking and helping my wife anyway I can." Being a man is sacrifice. Sacrifice for your spouse of 56 years. Fritz wouldn't exactly say it is a "sacrifice" but more like a priviledge to care for his bride. He has been and will be at her side till the Lord decides otherwise. Yes a Great man he is!
I get asked once a week or so about how my accident happened. I go through the whole thing play by play and almost everytime I get caught up, choked up when I get to the part where Jim grabbed me from rolling off the roof. I have thought about this part of the accident a lot. Why is this so emotional? My guess is that most of you have never had your life saved in a real tangible way. It's a powerful thing to behold. It's humbling. It's surreal. it's awe-inspiring and it's a whole bunch more. My life was saved by the action of someone acting quickly. What if Jim was on the other side of the roof? What if he just didn't think of grabbing me? That grabbing me changed my life. It's gnarly if you think about it. So now after 7 months my head starts to think about Jesus in this aspect. When I asked if you have ever had your life saved by someone I expected that most of you answered no, but wait. Jesus saves us. Wants to save us. Jesus came to earth so that we could live. He wants to grab us from falling off that roof. Sure your life will have its bumps and twists and turns and pain and surgeries and loss and so on, but in the end Jesus wants to grab us. He will pull you and me to eternal safety. The best rescue possible. If you are not a believer I implore you to think about that. if you are a believer I ask you to take some time today to thank God for rescuing you, grabbing you, saving you.
This kind of leads me into another thing I want to reiterate. This reiteration is the simple fact that God is not a circumstantial God. Meaning, My view of God is only good when ALL is going well for me. When all my family is safe. When my hair looks good--ha. What hair? ( I just had to add a little humor there) God is great and warm and special as long as no one in MY family has cancer, as long as no one in my family is hurting, as long as I have a good job, as long as....you fill in the blank. At the very same time of this thinking, people are starving. Children are dieing. People are getting killed. Some one lost their son in battle today. Someone else's daughter was hit by a car. Someone else's mother has cancer. As long as my life bubble is not being popped I'm ok with all that suffering and loss. Well folks, to me that is absurd, selfish and just plain wrong. Yes we need to leave room for sadness and grief. Questioning and struggle. Pain and depression. After all we are human and God gave us emotions. Many of us will take our pain and hurt to our grave and for that I am sorry. I don't think that is wrong or anything. What gets me is how I can all of a sudden change my trust or love or warmth for God based on what has happened to me. There is a big difference between being in pain, or sad and being bitter or lamenting God in some way because of what has happened to me. I hope I have made this clear. I stand on the outer edge of grief and sadness. Yes I went through an accident but it mostly turned out great. I see though a glass darkly. I never want to diminish your real pain and suffering. It is real and it is hard. Just please, please consider God the same today, tomorrow yesterday and forever. I don't know why he does not Grab us from every calamity but my guess is our insisting on Free Will has something to do with it. God appears at times to act mightly and other times not at all. I will never figure out why. I have to trust Him for he is God and I am not.
I must ask you? What is hurting you right now? How is that affecting your view of God? Your relationship with Him? Find someone you trust and ask each other these 3 questions. If you are not hurting then ask yourself these questions in a "What if" kind of senario? One of the best times to think and and wrestle with your theology is while there is no real storm. Think it through, be prepared, be ready.
Later-----Todd

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Half year mark.

Since my last surgery I have been down to the GBC several times for check ups. The good folks down there want to keep a close watch on these stubborn scar lines to make sure they heal up OK. I am on the last little itty bitty healing from my last scalpel encounter on Aug 19th. Everything looks fine and is healing up.
I am on my mountain bike 2-3 per week and getting stronger every week. My legs still feel weird but I am able to ride. My upper body is very weak and I need to get off my butt a little more and do some workouts beyond the bike.
A couple of great high lites from my last visit to Grossman was that I was able to visit with "Hope." She was in the hospital at the same time I was back in March. it was so great to talk to her. Hope will undergo a surgery in a couple of weeks to release the scar tissue on her neck. She is excited and scared to have the surgery. Nice to get the movement back but it is a pretty big surgery to. I suppose her littlest surgery was more invasive than my biggest procedures. Please pray for her. Talk about a tough person.
Moments after that inspiring visit I walked down the street to meet some friends I had not seen in 27 years. It was fun to catch up with Lori and Michele after such a long break. Pretty good emotional day if I really think about it.
I still get asked ( or told) from time to time that this whole deal has got to be really hard emotionally and physically. You know, all the pain, weakness and new wild hair do! I am settling to the fact that I have a crazy looking head but I feel more sorry about the person in the checkout line wondering what in the heck happened to that guy! ha. I catch people looking at me all the time. I am happy to talk about it but they have to ask first. I don't mean to be cavalier or cocky. Yes sometimes I look in the mirror or run my hands over my head in the shower and and think, Woah, dude, you got some issues up there...ha. but for the most part, the day to day and life I live, I am really fine with it. I guess all this tongue and cheek is be spoken because I am so thankful to be alive I don't care too much what I look like. You really have to try almost dying sometime to see what I mean. Life is a gift. Living longer than I should have is a gift. Vanity should be farther down our lists.
On a more somber note.
One of the toughest people I have know ( my mom ) Jackie is coming home from cancer treatments to wait out the inevitable. There is nothing more the good doctors can do for her. We are very sad. My mom has been a real "trooper" in all this. She does not complain. She continues to fight for life but it looks like things are winding down. Even when she is sicker than sick, she would always call me and see how my surgeries were going etc. She cares so much for her family that cancer will not let her stop caring and loving. Please pray for her, Fritz and our whole family as we go through this. I am blessed with a great mother. For 45 years she has shown me strength, service, love, an excellent sense of humor and a great example of a godly woman.
What about you? Are you seeing things as you should? God is the same today yesterday and forever. We are the ones changing, getting old, or hurt, or dismayed. Stay the course. For those who Love Him, we are just making a pit stop. My mom will hurt no more and for that I am grateful. Tearful? Yes, but oh so grateful.
Todd
PS--Don't forget to pray for Jacob Kirkendall. he is home for now and doing well but has a long road to go.

Friday, August 21, 2009

5 month anniversay celebrated in the halls of the GBC.



My fifth month anniversary was celebrated at the Grossman Burn Center having my 7th surgery. I had not mentioned this before in the hope that the 2 dime sized holes that popped up through a scar line would heal on its own. A month went by and these conduits to my skull would not close. On August 19 I got up once again with my faithful wife at 3am and headed to the halls of surgery. It was fun to see so many of the great care givers from before. So friendly, so kind.
The problem with these little unhealing spots was that my scalp around them was very unforgiving and not flexible. You would think a little office visit and a shot of Novocaine would have done the trick but no, I had to get on that familiar table and go off to lala land. The day after the surgery I was having more pain than expected for what I hoped would be some minor incisions, stretch and restitch. On Friday I went back to the GBC for a checkup and peak at the wound site. Much to my surprise I had a "new" stitched area that looked like a plus sign with 4 inches on each length of the "plus" ( see photo) Woah! No wonder this "little" surgery hurt so much. I thought I was getting kind of soft there for a minute! ha. The docs said it was quite difficult to get this stubborn area closed. Basically a mini muscle flap rotation was performed. I suppose I will be healing for another month. I was also tested to MRSA staff and it was positive. The docs are not sure if the colony of staff was part of why my scalp popped open or not. I am on some new anti-biotics to help kill this staff. As you may know, many of us have staff on ourselves. When the staff "colonizes" it is fairly harmless. When it gets infected is when you see the gooey sores that people get. That's no good for sure. At this moment I am not sure what I have. Monday will reveal more. You know, if you wouldn't mind, could you pray that this MRSA stuff goes away for good. This MRSA could be a link to the lengthy healing process....I don't know for sure.
Having a chin strap and head full of gauze wrap with a vessel drain for 2 days was a solid reminder to be thankful for the open air my head had enjoyed for the last couple months. On Saturday I will be back to bandannas and washing my head every day.

I had been wanting to write something for this month resembling the "greatest hits" of the last 5 months. The all time greatest hit was and is...You. I still shake my head and am amazed at the love and care I have been shown. My whole notion of God's love has expanded from Santa Barbara to Uganda, from Oregon to Tanzania, From college campus' to churches and everywhere in between. I am still being approached by people I don't know who say they were and are praying for me. Pretty cool!
Another highlight was learning to appreciate the little luxuries in life. Food, showers, and to lay my head down on a pillow. As I mentioned before, if you are feeling a little sorry for yourself that you didn't get to go somewhere or do something that you really wanted to do, just don't eat or shower for a few days and eating and showering will become some of those really cool things you get to do. I tried it and it works. ( I can't wait to put my head under the shower head on Saturday..Wahooo!)
What does it take for you to be humble? Does it take some kind of failure. Job loss. Realization of what and who God is? Another way is to get hurt. Its humbling to essentially get your butt kicked by something. This experience has softened my heart to Him and to people. Yes to people. Before the injury I enjoyed spending 'some" time with friends but now I really really enjoy it. So much that the night of my surgery I was at some friends house having a great time...I didn't want to miss out. Thanks Todd and Bonnie! Another funny thing was the realization that we were having 14 young life staff at our house from Wed. surgery day through Saturday. You might be thinking it was really hard to do this but no, it was and is a joy to have them. Of course having a wife with the gift of hospitality makes this a bit easier as well. Thank you Heather for all your love for all of us, including our new Young life friends from Austin Texas ! Great bunch of godly men and women. It has been a sweet encouragement to our family just to be around them for this short time.
Oh and yes, what about this idea of not whining or complaining. I have to admit that I have caught myself complaining a couple of times since my injury. Bad boy Todd. Complaining and whining is so unattractive and gets us no where. Be thankful, Be strong, Be kind. This no whining idea kind of leads into one of my favorites, be a SURVIVOR not a victim. There really is no more room for any more victims in our world. What happened has happened and you and I are alive. We are here, we made it. I Survived!
Contentment. I think pre injury I was less content. I wanted to do things I wanted to do and do them now. I even think I had this "angst" about doing the things I wanted to do. The Lord has taken the place of that angst and yes, I still do things I want to do but if I don't do them it's more Ok, no big deal, I'll do that later. What a blessing it is to feel content.
This next one might seem silly but I still have this strong sense of the joy it was to ride a bike for the first time post injury. It was like being a little kid again. Remember when you learned to ride a bike for the first time and how cool it was to just ride around and around? It was a little interesting to ride post injury for the first time due to my Neurological balance issues I was having. I decided to go for it and thankfully I kept my balance and had a wonderful time.
Its those little things in life that make us smile more often than the huge blessings we may receive from time to time. Don't forget to look for those "little" things when you go out and about this week.
I can go on and on but won't. I surely hope things are going well for you. If not I hope the Big picture will give you cause to be thankful, content, and enjoying Him.
Later-------Todd

PS__Please keep praying for Jacob. Jacob's Journey He has a long road ahead of him. Another reminder of how easy my injuries have been comparitively.

Friday, July 17, 2009

4 months, 1 cateract, Jacob and a long drive.

I was reminded once again that I don't want to drive home after 2pm from Sherman Oaks. The 1.5 hour trip took nearly 3 hours.
I first stopped off at my eye doctor, Dr. Baskin and told me my Iritus was finally gone but why am I still seeing spots? Apparently I have a traumma induced cateract. Dr. Baskin said he has seen this kind of thing happen to people who have had trauma. He wants to watch my eye for a few months and sometime later I suppose I will get the short quick surgery.
I then continued on to GBC and met up with Dr. Peter. I still have some open spots on my head and they were acting infected. When they rotated my scalp there was a pinky nail sized spot where they could not close the scalp together. this area healed over then turned grey and then became an open wound again. Dr. Peter said the open spot goes right down to my skull. I will go back on the 27th and if it is not closing up He will do a little precedure in the office and stich it together.
Sunday 7-19-09 marks 4 months since my accident. its been an incredible road of support, mercy and Healing. I am still thankful, still feel fortunate, still feel blessed, and still am so glad for your support and love for this old guy and his family.
I have just heard about a 17 year old boy who was shocked by high voltage. Jacob was shocked while at the beach of all places. if you have time could you please pray for him? He is just getting out of being in an induced comma and is in a lot of pain.
Here is has blog. Jacob's Journey: Small steps
He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Job 1
See ya.
T

Thursday, June 18, 2009

3-19-09 - 6-19-09


It has been an interesting 3 months. I still look in the mirror and wonder if it's all real or not. Twenty one days in the hospital. Another 3 weeks of sporting a head VAC and six surgeries. Can it all be real and true? Apparently it is.
I made the familiar trek to the Grossman Burn Center for a checkup. Nice to see Dr. Peter , Kurt, Corrina and Lilly. The place was abuzz with patients but Dr. Peter still took the time to hang out a bit and talk. As Dr. Peter examined my head we talked about future reconstruction of my scalp. First I need to wait a good six months before I do anything. The idea would be to expand the scalp I have by basically stretching it with these surgically installed "Tissue Expanders". The stretched out scalp skin would then be spread out over my bald spots and ..Walla!, the bald is gone. The result would be a fully restored head of hair. This does come with a price though. 4 surgeries over several months and the tissue expansion makes one look like....well...like a guy with a huge tumor on his head. These baseball sized expansions would get bigger and bigger by way of injecting fluid into the Tissue Expansion device. The big question is: Do I really need to do this? Heather has informed me that she will not leave me if I remain like I am...hah but on the other hand she thinks that the restored scalp would serve as a great protection against skin cancer, cuts and bruises. Part of me think it vain to do this stuff and the other part thinks its a practical matter. Do I want to wear hats and sunscreen on my head for the rest of my life? Not that big of deal, I am getting used to the hat thing. Its funny, when I talk to my balding or bald cohorts, I don't get a lot of sympathy. They look at me like "What's the big deal" Hair loss loves company I guess? I have great empathy for those who have life altering body changes such as the badly burned. People like to look and stair and wonder. My deal is nothing like that but I have to say I am self conscious of my head and how I "look". It's been a good exercises in what is important and the whole vanity thing. Are you OK with a chunk of scalp missing from your head? I am beginning to think the answer for me is..YES. Our society puts great emphasis on looks and beauty and I am part of that thinking. I like when someone thinks I am handsome as I suppose you do to. The far greater compliment though, is when someone thinks you are beautiful inside. We settle for the exterior stuff way to fast. Maybe because for some it is easy to be good looking because you were born that way. Not much to work at. Other's spend a great deal of time to get looking good, we all have our blessings right? I wonder if we spend more time thinking about our outer beauty instead of our inner beauty? How do others see you as a person on the inside? Ask them some time, you might be surprised.
I don't mean to put some kind of guilty trip on us but I do think it worthy to at least think about. I was really not sure of what to write on this 3 month anniversary. Funny what comes to mind.

Needless to say, Dr. Peter liked the healing on my head and I will now wait 3 months till my next office visit. 3 months? Wow, I am going to miss the GBC gang. It was great to see a few of the nurses and medical staff. I couldn't help to look a little in each room as I walked by. New people in the beds, new injuries, new issues. You know how we say the term "circle of lfe" well I thought of that term in an injury sense, "circle of injury". We keep hurting ourselves. sometimes by our own dumb fault ( me) and sometimes by someone else. The injuries just keep coming. I must say it felt really great and really not great being there. I loved seeing my nursing friends but as I walk in a hospital now, I have this "all to familiar" feeling. Can't move too much, being wrapped up like a mummy, needles, pain, surgery, burns, dressing changes and the like. Kind of surreal I guess. I hope I am not conveying complaint here, its just a feeling I got whilst there. One good bit of news I did while there was that the lady who was burned so bad code named "Hope" is at home now. She has daily contact with GBC but a least she's home. Continue to pray for her and all of the 34 occupied beds at the GBC.

As you can imagine I hear many stories of how others have been shocked or electrocuted. The newest story was told to me about a woman who was told to shake the sparking temporary power pole at a construction site. The strung up wires were buzzing and sparking and the best advice was to shake the pole to get the sparking to go away. This shaking brought the lines down on her head. She was shocked with 220 volts and spent 2 full months in the hospital and still has brain function problems. When I heard how bad this woman was hurt with 220 volts I was humbled to be alive after a 13,200 volt experience. I have been hearing so often that "you are lucky to be alive" and so on and yes that is what I kind of want to hear but it is said so often its lost its impact. When I heard this story about this lady it renewed that idea in a special way. Luck? That word seems so random and shallow. If we do not believe that God is involved with ALL of what happens to us, we need to open up our bibles and get our theology right. Why was I so graciously spared? Why are others not spared? Not sure myself or anyone can answer such questions. All I can do is be grateful for being spared, be grateful for life, grateful that I know this incredible God, grateful for friends and family and know that God has more plans for me
(and you) as long as we are breathing on this earth!

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there.
See Ya------------Electro Todd

Friday, June 5, 2009

Reminder


Hello there sports fans. how ya doing today? I hope well.
You gotta love these self portraits! ha.

On my last post I ended with a sentence that asked if you would remind me of something. You might think I am a little wacked for saying this....Ok so I am a little off! ha.
I want you to remind me over the years of this experience. Remind me that I almost died. Should have died. Remind me how big God's love is in all of you. Let me know when I complain and remind me how I did not want to do that anymore. Remind me of what is important, God family and friends. Remind me that I wanted to serve God in whatever capacity He wishes. Remind me of the thousands of prayers, dozens of cards, and many gifts that were sent. Remind me about the huge number of people who prayed for me that I didn't even know. Remind me how Jim Peterson grabbed me and kept me on that roof. Remind me how awesome the Potter's Clay staff handled the situation and was so well prepared. Remind me of the incredible care I received from doctors and nurses. Remind me how great Heather handled the situation and cared for me so well. And according to Gracie, remind me to be mature.... ha.

here is a quote that really sums up how I feel. ( Thank You Rosemary for the quote)

The pressure of difficult times makes us value life. Every time our life is spared and given back to us after a trial, it is like a new beginning. We better understand its value and thereby apply ourselves more effectively for God and for humankind. And the pressure we endure helps us to understand the trials of others, equipping us to help them and sympathize with them....

todd









hi everyone! i just wanted to say a word of thanks coming from a daughter who loves her dad very much (though he can be immature at times (; ) and is very thankful that he is still here with us today. thank you to all the friends, family, schoolmates, teachers, and everyone else who have been so caring, thoughtful, and loving to me, as well as the rest of the family. i appreciate and love you all so much! Happy Summer!!!
-Gracie

Friday, May 29, 2009

Released!

Released from what? Well, at my last doctors visit Dr.Peter and dr Kirt said it was time to play! I have been given full clearance to start any and all activities. After a week of chin wrap and soft spot, this is awesome news! I will have to admit I was getting a little rebellious with my chin wrapping toward the end of the 7 day sentence. After some 50-60 days out of 70 with Vacs and gauze and Mepolex and the like, I was getting a bit ancy to be free. It was music to my ears to have them say that the wrapping is over.
Concerns? Not too many.
1.There is a chance that I might get some in grown hairs on my head from how my scalp is growing in on each other.
2.My eye still has Iritus and after some rebellion in the eye drop department, my eye started to hurt some today. Note to self. Take eye drops.
3. Fingertips still numb and tingly.
4. My feet are a bit numb and tingly especially when I take off my shoes.
5. My legs are working a little better but very uncoordinated by pre injury standards. I had an informal talk with a neurologist and he said. " Basically you are going through a major "reboot" and you will be fine in 6 months".
6. My head is feeling pretty good but it has its tender spots.
Not saying these things as complaints but as information. Number 5 has got me concerned but I need to give it and all the items Time.
A friend asked me the other day how I was really doing with this whole thing? Am I really this "up"about the whole thing? Have I put myself in a corner with portraying this resilient attitude?
Answer- I remember coming out of surgery 4 with a VAC back on my head. That was some hard news to hear and it took a couple days to get it together. I was pretty down as I shared in a previous post. It was kind of funny that after Dr. Miua saw me he upped some medication I am taking and shortly after that I got a visit from the staff Phsycologist (Jonathan). Jonathan is a cool guy and talking to him is fun but I learned that one must be careful what they say in a hospital!! ha. I admit I was getting agitated with the whole head wrap deal, partly because some of it did not make sense to me. There were some days when I felt beat up particularly when I was basically blind with Iritus and after getting my sight back( thank you Dr. Baskin) I went to a doc appointment for my head and they poked and picked and packed and I had not taken any pain meds. Yes that was a hard day but really I feel thankful and blessed and ready to go on. I must give credit to God for getting me through this without great mental anguish. HE is Stronger than any situation. To tell you the truth I am way more affected by the fog than this injury. I have SAD, Seasonal Affected Disorder. The fog monster comes into Santa Barbara seemingly often and it really gets to me. I try to fight through it but after a few days I sometimes get down. Again, not complaining but sharing. Enough of this.
I was able to get on my bike in a real way yesterday. I rode 6 miles. It felt good and I went along at a pretty god clip. When my muscles are under tension they work better. Cycling has been something I have been doing most of my life so it is a good fit.
Sorry this update did not come sooner. My computer is on the blink and I didn't realize how easy it was to post from another computer.
Well I need to go. Chores to do, push ups to conquer and I was even thinking of trying some hits on my speed bag, ( boxing bag hangs from a platform....good for coordination).
Thanks for listening, praying and being the best support a fellow could ever have.
I will be posting about once a week until there is no more to say in case you want to know.
Stay tuned for next weeks post..I need you to remind me of something.
Todd

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Victim or Survivor?

These two words are very interesting and powerful. We ( general public) use the word "victim" very liberally when talking about our situations. The dictionary says the definition of the word victim is:
1. a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency: a victim of an automobile accident.
The definition pretty much backs up what we call "victims" except that we ( general public) tend to take it a little too far. We are victims of coffee spills, long lines, bee stings and the like. It would be VERY easy to go into the Grossman Burn Center and start saying "victim this" and "victim that" but that word is no where to be found. It was quite refreshing to here the staff talk about their patients as "survivors". The GBC monthly news letter is called "Survivor Newsletter". I like that. Though the burn patients are victims according to Webster, it's an unhealthy way to look at things. Calling someone or referring to yourself as a survivor is a positive way of describing a tough situation. Instead of wallowing in self pity, anger and the like, being survivor makes me think of being thankful that I am alive. It makes me want to get better. It makes me feel stronger. Being a victim feels like wearing a heavy coat on a hot day. (or worse). We will never exactly know why things happen the way they do but we do know what Romans 8:28 says: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. I'm not saying we will not be without pain in these hard or bad things that happen to us but that somehow God has a bigger plan. A plan we do not understand. A plan that could look cruel or mean in our eyes but we have not the eyes of God. If I don't believe this I am afraid I would fall into the victim category. If I do that it will lead to an angry downward spiral that goes no where.
So,..... all that to say. I am a survivor!
A person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks. (Webster)
I have survived 2 of my 7 days of chin wrap. How nice it is to take it off for showers.
I hope you have a great day, a thankful day, a survivor day!
Cheers------Todd

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What kind of an anniversary present is this?


Today May 19th marks my 2 month anniversary of my injury date. Wow time flies by when your healing!
Ok, so what the heck in on my head. Little tiny bump in the road. Heather noticed that a 2.5 inch area of my flap was kind of mushy and full of fluid. I called GBC and they said to come down. dr. Kirt cut it open a little and tried to drain the area but not much came out. Good. He then proceeded to put my old friend, "chin wrap" back on for a week. I get to take it off before showers and then wrap it back up. Showers take a long time, don't they? say, 3-4 hours? hah. I need to keep pressure on that area and also absorb any fluid that comes up and that is what all the fuss is about. As I drove away I remembered it was my anniversary.
Kirt said not to worry, my head looks 97% good and refers to this little blip not even a 1/4 step backward. The wound looks great. I go back in a week and we will take the next step then. It was a great week or so of no wrap. This next week will make me even more thankful for an unobstructed head.
I knew they would do something to my head that would not be fun and I felt sorry for myself for about 10 minutes when thinking about it yesterday. I quickly snapped out of it and said to myself, "Bring it on". I will persevere. The alternative is just a whiny existence that no one wants to be around.
I leave you now gritting my teeth ( in a good way). I have been though 60 days of challenge, 7 more, no problem!!!
Over and out-------------------T
PS ---no "sorry you're all wrapped up again" comments. It comes with the territory. Be tough.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Graphic pics of my head.




Hello my strong stomached friends. I had a great doctor's visit on Friday. Things looked so good that Dr. Peter pulled out all my staples. When they install the staples they shoot down and instead of bouncing off the bottom of a stapler and folding in, they bounce off my skull and fold in.....NOT. Just kidding. Are you awake now? No, the staples are very short and have a little wiggle in each leg. They simply wiggle into my scalp and have great holding power. One of the advantages of having parts of my head without feeling is that when the doc pulls the staples, you don't feel it. Cool. My next doctor visit is in 11 days. I was going twice per week. Cool number 2! I can wear a hat and it covers my entire wound area. This is much quicker than a bandanna and, I might add, very stylish! ha. Cool number 3. I am going to start light exercise and see if I can get these skinny legs to cooperate. I was told by a doctor friend of mine that a person looses 14% of their muscle mass by being in bed for a week! Ouch! May 19 will represent 60 days since the accident. At least half those days were in bed and the other half have been with very little movement. Needless to say I have some work to do! Cool number 4. Speaking of work....I will make my first job site meeting on Monday at 8 a.m. its time to stop fooling around and get some work done! Cool number 5
I suppose I will run into people for quite some time who will be seeing me for the first time since the accident. I ran into Ed who was one of the contractors at Potter's Clay. I was grateful for his enthusiastic hello. We kind of re-lived the day I was hurt and it reminded me that I am a blessed fortunate man. By many accounts I should have died but God has other things in mind. Cool number 6. I have way less male entitlement thoughts and feelings...you know, like, Man I deserve this or I deserve that. Boy am I working hard, I deserve a vacation. Look at my achievements and service, I deserve good health and long life for me and my family Etc. My thoughts are now more like, Wow.. today is one more day than I should have had. Sweet. My wife has a husband and my children have a father. Everything post 3-19-09 is bonus, a gift, extra or as my friend Rocky says. "Gravy". But really all of life on this earth is bonus and we should be grateful for it. The real bonus, the real deal, is when we go to heaven after a life of believing who Jesus said He is. Until then its some ups, some downs, tragedies and blissfulness. How we handle "life" is a test that we all must pass because when we get through this life with gratefulness, thankfulness, Belief, love and kindness...its when the "Living" truly begins! Cool number 7.
I hope the pictures are appropriate. I posted the most tame ones we took. If you look at the skin graft spots ( slick bald spots), that's where my scalp "used" to be. you can see in one of the pics where my scalp looks a little bunched up and has a rumpled rotated look. That's because...well, it got rotated! hah. My graft areas are supposed to flush out with my hair line with the build up of scar tissue. No I will not have hair growing back on the graft areas. I think I am going to start a new trend with my new hair style! ha. Yes there is another "wonder" surgery to get all my hair back but its the last thing on my mind. I just want to heal and heal I am. Cool number 8.
Last on my list is "Cools" is you...My awesome friends and family who have supported me, encouraged me, held me, did for me, loved me, loved my family, so I say Thank you, God Bless You! COOL NUMBER 9.
All for now-----love todd.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A Maui Jim Thank You and field report


I have been meaning to tell my little Maui Jim story for some time now. When the accident happened I was wearing my trusty 5 year old Maui Jim sunglasses. The shock and burn were not 6 inches from my eyes which received no eye injury in the incident. My sunglasses frames were slightly melted and I cracked one of the lenses when my face hit the deck. I was impressed with the performance of these glasses in this situation and in every other situation for the last 5 years. I sent off my glasses to MJ for repair and told them about what happened. I specifically told them that the breakage was my fault and I thanked them for making such good glasses that protected my eyes. I was ready to gladly pay for the repairs but the warranty dept ( Ryan ) had another idea. They sent me a complete new pair free of charge!! THANK YOU MAUI JIM. I was sold on MJ long before this accident but am now completely unwavering in my support for such a great company. Their customer service has ALWAYS been prompt and super fair.
So here's the plug-------Buy some MJ sunglasses and you won't regret the comfortable, crystal clear optics and cool style. Yes they cost a chunk but well worth it in the long run.
MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM

Field Report--------
Ok so I didn't really go to any field yesterday, I thought it sounded official and cool to say "field report". I did go my doctors office though. Ruby carefully unveiled my head and got it ready for Dr. Kirt to look at. I asked for some mirrors so I can survey the territory as well. I am no doctor but when I saw my head it looked...tight, neat and healthy. No gooey stuff. Actually it reminds me of a golf course with my skin grafts being the sand traps! hah. Dr. Kirt ( Kirt is really a PA but he is just too skilled and awesome to say just "Kirt") looked at my head and really liked what he saw. Healthy, no soft spots, no red spots. Yeah!! I was gearing up for another chin strapped head wrap but Kirt asked Ruby to put on a ( big technical term ) "Beanie." I was so happy I felt like hugging someone! Can't tell you how great it feels to be free of the chin strap drain tubed foamed up jobber.
As you may recall I had a tube going inside my scalp to help with drainage. Prior to my beanie wrap they removed the tube. Did it hurt? Dr. Kirt placed his finger just above the tube entry point and yanked it out of there! Honestly, I didn't feel a thing. Wew!
If the above is not good enough news I have more. Dr. Kirt said I should take my beanie off on Tues and have a full shower and wash my head. Thereafter I just need to keep some ointment on my scars and wrap it up if I go out. Cool! Did some one say "full shower"? This next shower will be my 5th full head to toe shower in over 50 days. I am excited. Remember my earlier blogs about being thankful for the little things? Yes I am thankful for this simple thing called a shower and maybe you will be thankful that I am having a full shower as well so you don't have to put up with the smell anymore! hah.
I am debating posting a picture of the real deal here on Wed or Thurs. I don't want to gross anyone out. I might give a little distance in the shot to lessen the look. Frankenstein and I make a good pair! hah.
Have a great day.......Until next time.....Todd

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I..... think I can I ....think I can I ...think I can. I ..think I can. I think I can!


I feel like I am that Casey Jr. train just cresting the top of the mountain. Could I have just had my last structural surgery? Dr. Peter says everything looks great and I'm on the mend. If I can fort off infection or any other complication, I will be cruisin' down the other side of that mountain!

I did my usual ride down the hall ways into the operating room. This time I was first for the day and was in la la land before 6:15 am. I joked with the surgical staff before my trip to la la land to see if they had, say, blue head wrap stuff but they laughed and said they only do white? Why is that anyway? Dr. Peter and Heather and I talked before surgery where he would take the second skin graft from. We finally decided to take the skin from my leg right next to my first donor site. After attending a Burn Survivors Support Group meeting last Thursday. I saw with my own eyes and heard with my own ears about what others have gone through. One man had both his arms and body burned badly and they had to use both his legs for donor sites. This man said they took so much skin from him that the only spot to take blood pressure from was right on his ankle/leg area that just had skin harvested. Every 15 minutes, squeeze, pain, squeeze, pain. My 2 little donor sites are small potatoes compared to what many others endure. I am limping a bit with my current donor site and can't imagine trying to walk with both my legs getting peeled!!
I awoke from my 6th little surgery and was walking to the bathroom by 8:11 am....yeah I looked at the clock. When you have been down for 50 plus days, getting out of bed as fast as I can after surgery is kind of an athletic event..you know...its a guy thing! hah. On Saturday I offered to help a certain someone assemble an almost assembled bike that they were giving to a certain someone else for Mother's Day. Naturally I had to take it for a test ride to see if it was working properly. I was a little scared to put both feet on the pedals but I just had to do it. It was a blast cruising around the driveway with the bike. Kind of a dangerous thing for me to do right now but what a boon to my mental repair! ( Can we keep this just between you and me? if Heather found out she might be a little upset! ha.)
It's pretty much protocol to have a patient stay the night after a skin graft so that is just what I did. After, I bet, 20 days in the hospital, I was bored and ancy. Don't get me wrong though, the nurses and docs where their usual incredible selves, but I just wanted to get out of there. Imagine the guy I met at the support group meeting who spent 10.5 months in the hospital and 5 of those in ICU! This man tried to save his brother from a burning home and paid dearly for it. Sadly his brother died.
So what is next? I go back to GBC for the unveiling of my head on Monday. I am hoping to drive myself this time. Dr. Peter said he may take the current drain tube out of my head but will have to wrap me back up for more healing. Except for the poking and cleaning, how nice it will be to have my head ( and chin) free of the gauze and garb for a few precious minutes. I am hoping they can wrap it back up so that my ears will show but the chin strap has to stay to keep the covering tied to my head. Once again I end a post here with a grateful heart. Inconveniences or not...I'm alive. You're alive. Yaahhooo!
Sincerely, the guy in the white wrap.----Todd

PS. A special hello and thank you to my Oregon contingent. Some of you I don't even know and you care so much. Thank You!. God Bless You!

PSS. Happy Mother's Day to, of course, to all you mothers out there! I know I am thankful for the mother of my children, Heather. She is an incredible woman and has been by my side during this little bump in the road! Blessings.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Don't say Wound, Don't say VAC!

Hello to my trusted friends and family.
I made the familiar ride down the halls on my way to surgery and was met with the usual chipper and friendly surgical staff. I transferred over to the operating table and saw the big light as I looked up to the ceiling. My anaesthesiologist gave me a painless IV and things got cool inside my veins. I had some oxygen via mask and as I looked up to Salar who was coming by, everything went blank.
Oh the bliss of being under! I awoke to my wonderful friendly nurse Patricia and of course one of the first things we talked about was what was on my head and coming out of my head. Patricia gave me the good news about not having a "VAC" on my head. Yeah! segway...Have you ever seen that movie Lost in America? There is a seen where Albert Brooks wife blows all their money at the gambling table...even the ever sacred "nest egg" money. He was quite upset with her and was shocked by what she had done. Albert Brooks in his anger says to his wife, " you may never say nest egg ever again...Don't say Nest!...Don't say egg!... It was a funny movie and I encourage you to see it. I think of the "nest line when I think of the Wound Vac...Don't say "Wound", Don't say "Vac" ever again---hah. Its not really all that bad but after being a guy who used to "get up and go" the WV is limiting and a nuisance! At the same time it is a privilege to have such great technology even though it may be annoying.
The doctors said my head looked really good. No infection. They are being careful to only do small adjustments to my head and that is what they did. Dr. Peter and Kirt moved my flaps ever so slightly and sowed and stapled it all down just right. As I mentioned before they were going to do a skin graft but they installed cadaver skin ( temporary graft)on my new open areas to make sure things don't get infected or get messed up. It is getting a little confusing for me as to all they are doing and why but I do trust them and that trust will lead me to surgery #6. On Thursday I will have a small 3/4 x 2 inch graft. Lord willing, this will be the last one for a long time. There is talk that I will need to stay in the hospital till Sunday but I am hoping I can leave and come back..We'll see. They want to keep close tabs on this final and important step of my recovery. Electrical wounds are very tricky and tough to treat. The wound keeps throwing challenges at my awesome docs and they just take it all in stride one surgery at a time. Thank you.
Currently I am wrapped up like a super mummy with a small tube coming out of my head and a little bottle tucked in the wrapping that captures extra fluid. I call it the Poor man's Vac because it acts a little like the WV in that it draws the fluid out of the wound area? I could have it all wrong though. I also got a great reminder of why I don't take the narcotic family of drugs for pain. For some reason I was given Delotted and spent the day trying to feel better. On the way home in the car I "exited" the things in my stomach and felt much better. Even though I am not officially allergic to narcotics I have it as an allergy on my chart for further use. The walking has gotten better though surgery sets me back a little as I get all the anaesthesia and drugs out of me. The fingers are still the same and I rarely even think about the scars from my burns up and down my right arm.

My favorite hymn is Take My Life And Let it Be. In the second verse says:

Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of thy love
Take my feet and let the be swift and beautiful for Thee.

I look forward to days of hands moving and swift feet and moving those hands and feet at His impulse.
God is Good.
Todd

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Surgery #5

Well folks, my last post was just before surgery #4 where I had 3 options of outcome. You guessed it, I came out of surgery with a VAC on my head again. As the doctors lifted one of my skin flaps they saw that my galea had turned to mush. the galea is a fatty cottage cheese tissue layer that connects to the skull. Our scalps connect to the Galea. They removed the Galea from that area and laid the flap down onto my skull. All this is causing a little flap rotation which in turn will cause me to have another small skin graft on my head.
Most of you know that I have kept a strong sense of humor and good attitude but after coming out of surgery I got pretty low. It was real hard to open my eyes to another Vac and at least one more surgery. I am feeling better now and am ready to fight some more. My mom and I are encouraging each other to stay tough as she battles cancer and I battle this wound. My mother is "the" toughest non compalining person I know. She is always cheerful despite many many months of not feeling well. As I hit day 45 in all this I am once again reminded of those who suffer for much longer.
I go into surgery on Monday morning 5-4-09. I will most likely spend the night or two and then be home for more recovery.
My eye still has Iritus but is not giving me any pain. the drops I'm on has me not seeing so well but that's OK.
My legs are working a little better and that is encouraging. My finger tips still have the numb/asleep feeling but it seems like the numbness is mostly in the tips of my fingers and not the whole hand.
All we can do is pray. Pray that all this flap stuff will take to my head. Pray that I can stay stong mentally. Thanks for reading this. Your support is perfect...thank you!!!!
Todd

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Even a nice road has a little bump in it

On the road to recovery there are ups and downs, highs and lows and little bumps along the way. After my visit to GBC yesterday Monday 4-27, Dr Peter decided I need a little out patient surgery on an infected area. I have a 2 inch area on my scalp flap that is not perfect. Dr Peter will be able to remove the infected stuff and here is what I might end up with:
1. The amount of removal will be so small that he will be able to close my scalp together and no other work will be needed if the infection stays away. ( best choice here )
2. The amount of removal will be too great to close the scalp and they will have to give me a temporary graft (cadaver). After this graft heals and there is no infection, they will then get me back in there for a permanent skin graft procedure. ( Yes another surgery )
3. Dr. Peter said something with the words "Wound Vac" and I promptly offered him his favorite 6 pack and then upped it to a case if he would not do the "Vac" on my head. Hah. As you may remember I had a tube coming out of my head for a couple of weeks and that was the "Vac."
If the Vac goes on, this could mean 1-2 more surgeries after they decide to take it off.

Of all the linear inches of affected area on my head, 2 inches is not much. Things could be worse. Whatever I get, option 1 2 or 3, I will persevere, I will not get down, I will get through this.
This little bump will make me all the more thankful for when I can run my head under a hot shower and wash my head. Ah yes the simple things in life are wonderful. As you go though out your day please look for them and be thankful.
Please keep praying.
Take Care----------------Todd

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Home on Vacation

You may remember from an earlier post that I was comparing being able to do the simple things in life with being on vacation? Or if you felt sorry for yourself that you could not do something fun or go on a vacation you could simply not eat or take a shower for a while and the joy of resuming eating or showering would seem like a vacation.
I came home Monday April 20 from my 3rd surgery. I had a successful muscle flap rotation and skin graft. I have had the chance to have about 4 showers with actually putting my head under the shower head. Oh did that feel vacation good. I am also in my own bed next to my wonderful wife of 24 years. My kids are down the hall and its good to home! I am currently wrapped back up as of Thursday 4-23 and my skin donor site on my leg is healing and acts much like a road rash you would get after falling off your skateboard. Prior to this doctor visit I had a most unusual thing happen. I woke up Thursday morning with some pretty bad eye pain. It got to the point that I had to keep my eyes shut and have a black shirt over my eyes as well to keep the light out and pain down. After a call to my trusty GBC nurses, they got me in touch with Dr. Baskin and I got an immediate appointment with him. Once again GBC pulled through for me. Before we left home Heather fed me a bowl of cereal and was teasinig.., "oh great, first your lame and now your blind" hah. Then she started messing with the spoon and making me spill. It was a fun moment inspite of the circumstances. Heather is my Hero. she hauled me down there and Heather and Gracie led me to Dr. Baskin like you would lead a blind person down the street. Of course Dr. Baskin wanted me to open my eyes and I did not. He wanted the lights on and I wanted them off. hah. Finally he pryed open my eye to get some numbing drops in them and things slowly got better. After 5 minutes or so he diagnosed me with Iritus, inflamation of the iris. I left the office with more drops and much less pain and could see much better. Dr. Baskin says he does not think the Iritus (sp) is directly connected to my shock accident but Iritus can come at anyone especially immune deficient or having a stressed body. I will tell you this: This eye pain was greater than anything I can remember done to me in the last 35 days. Ouch. Of course this little bump in the road made me thankful for another one of those simple pleasures in life. Sight. It also made me think of what a priviledge it is to have such great medical care at our fingertips. How does a 3rd world person get through something like this?
Today I can see about 90% better and the pain is minimal and for that I am thinkful.

Right after my eye appointment I had to go to GBC for a check up on my head. Dr. Peter and Dr. Kirt and Lilly cleaned my wound areas, removed some of the staples and trimmed off unwanted overlapping skin from my graft. There is a small area on the back of my head that had been drainaging and needed attention. They actually stuffed some guase inside my scalp and created a better drainage port. I am on antibiotics to ward off this situation. I go back on Monday or Tues to see how things look. I may need to be bandaged up for another week or so even though some of you have seen me with nothing on my head. Air is good sometimes and sometimes not. Needless to say the work on my head was..shall we say..NOT like having a back rub. hah. By the time I got out of there I wanted to go home and go home fast! I looked like the invisible man with my white gauzed head and black sunglasses. ha.
Thursday was a rough day but today has been a great day of resting, visits from friends and a specail delivery of a Kahuna Grill milk shake. Yum Yum.
Take Care everyone. God is Good
Todd

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

GBC GBC GBC GBC GBC update

Hello friends, Though I have much to say to catch all of you up in this experience, I can't go any further without first acknowledging the Grossman Burn Center.
GBC staff I am grateful for each one of you. From the cleaning staff to surgeons, you all are wonderful top notch people. I am going to follow here with some thank you's by name but of course I am going to forget someone. I hope that those I forget will know I appreciate them as well. One of the fringe benefits of getting shocked with 13,000 volts is that I am hoping people will cut me some slack with forgetfulness etc. --hah. After all what would be a better excuse.
Doctors.
Dr. Richard Grossman.
Thank you for the first days of diagnosis and surgery. I was actually unsure of who you were when we finally met. I am honored to be at the hospital you founded and have worked so hard to make it what it is. Your passion and compassion have worked its way completely through the staff. Thank You.
Dr. Peter Grossman.
Many doctors have great skill like you but lack a caring bedside manner. Not you. You made me feel important and secure with your many many bedside visits. Its obvious that you have a great passion for what you do along with a genuine kindness and compassion for those you work with/on. Those daily visits from you meant a lot. Thank You.
Physicians Assistants-- Kirt, Steven.
Much of what I said about Dr. Peter goes for you guys. You are following in the footsteps of a great founder, surgeon (s) and team. Your friendly bedside manner was also appreciated. So Kirt---Who is going to win Idol this year? Thanks you guys, keep up the excellent work.
Dr. Miao ( general practitioner)
Thanks for getting me on some pain meds that did not make me loopy or vomit. I appreciated your bed side manner as well. Nice guy.
Dr. Simons - Phyciatric
Dr. Scharf - Neurology
This may start sounding like a broken record but your care and manner were much appreciated. Thank you.
SALAR, You're awesome. thanks for your excellent work dealing with the insurance people. As you prepare to be a surgeon I know you will succeed with that kind of determination and skill.
Surgical Staff.
It has been an interesting relationship with most of you in that 95% of the time I was asleep and you were awake. hah. I know that your contributions to my surgery were a great part of the success of my surgeries. The few minutes we had before I went to la la land were reassuring and humorous making me feel secure before you all got your scalpels out! So who was the guy who offered me a Martini or a Margarita? Pretty funny guys/gals Thank You.
Transport Staff
Kitchen Staff.
Though we did not meet face to face all that much I want you to know I appreciate you. We had some fun rides down the hallways and the humor was again reassuring.
The food at GBC is really good. I got to choose from a host of different foods and were encouraged to make special requests. Being served great food to my room every day was a privilege. Thanks!
Cleaning Crew.
Antonio, Rosa, Arturo and others.
Your smiles and hellos were always there and your effort to keep it all clean is very much appreciated. Thank you. ( Arturo---Go Lakers!!)
Alan-Thanks for all your photo work. When the guys start talking about all there war wounds I will have some pics to help them put things in perspective! Happy Birthday.
Respiratory Therapists-- Herb and Steve.
Welcome to the land down under! Thanks for your kindness and conversation while getting me in and out of the "tube" I am sure the 18 sessions helped speed my recovery. Herb, have fun with your home owner projects. If you ever need advice please email me. My first advice is: Don't touch high voltage wiring...I know, I am genius. ---Thanks guys!
Burn Tech / CNA. Joe, Brianna and Lorena.
What great aid you give to the nurses. Thank you for your gentle dressing changes and humorous outgoing personalities. Joe I must say seeing you as the first GBC staff person gave me a little scare after getting my little scrub downs in SD. My fears were eased quickly when you ..well...did not hurt me. --ha. Bri. All I gotta say is "You go Girl" It is refreshing to see a young person as motivated, friendly and funny as you. I know you will be a RN soon. Way to go.
Director----Kelli
Good things start from the top. Your leadership of this unit is a testament to your kindness and compassion and skill. Thank you for your friendliness and smiles.

I saved my thank you to the nursing staff for last not because you are the least, quite the opposite. You had to put up with me the most and "do' for me the most from "more water" to meds, to IV's, to help walking,cleaning, and just being a friend. Every day when I went to chamber I would come back and have this perfectly made bed. I learned from Antonio that the nurses did that every day. It is humbling to be served is such capacities every day. You are all so warm, friendly,kind, caring and patient. I could not think of a better crew to care for the burned, especially the severely burned. God Bless You. Thank You Thank You Thank You.
Nursing Staff.
Stacey Julio Tracey
Emily Maria Josephine
Lolita Stephanie Barbara
Jennifer 1 Jennifer 2 Jennifer 3 Molly
Mark Betty Patricia
Mame Helana Kathleen Verona
Fate Valisa Elaine Sue/Susan
Out patient--Marcy Lilly Ruby
( I know I have missed some and I am sorry. I am a little outnumbered.)

--------------GBC INVITE.----------
IF ANY OF YOU WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME IN SANTA BARBARA AND DON'T WANT THE EXPENSE OF A HOTEL, PLEASE CALL THE RIDEOURS. WE WOULD LOVE TO HOUSE YOU. USE US A PLACE TO SLEEP OR A PLACE TO HANG OUT. WE CAN HELP YOU WITH PLACES TO GO AND SEE WHILE YOU ARE HERE WITH YOUR FRIEND OR FAMILIES.
EMAIL TODD FOR PHONE NUMBER ETC. todd.rid@gmail.com.

At this point I will say " see you later" and not good bye. I will be seeing you from time to time as I continue to recover.

See ya--------todd ridenour.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Tubeless and thankful

When he woke up from surgery this morning I said, "how do you feel?" " Thankful and so happy not to have a VAC tube!" Oh, that darn TUBE! Once again we are experiencing God's mercy toward Todd. Though his head looks like a Smerf for the second time, his spirits are high and there is a big grin on his face because it feels good to be a little further down the path of recovery. Dr. Grossman said that the surgery went well except that they had to take the graft to cover the flap site from his thigh instead of from his head as he had hoped--there simply wasn't enough skin. I'm kind of glad that they choose another part of his body to harvest skin because I think his head would have been overwhelmed with rawness. He's such a brave trooper and never complains...even when his family would accidently yank on his tube!
Another piece of good news is that for the moment he is relatively pain free with mild medication that he likes! This could all change as the healing progresses, nerves wake up and the leg graft site "dries out". Ugh. From what we are told a graft site is even more painful than some of the head surgery. For now, how great to be thankful for great doctors and nurses, pain killers that really work, a future with skin everywhere and all the love any family could ever dream of and more....we can't thank you and our Lord Jesus enough...there just aren't words adequate for thankful, full hearts. Heather

Monday, April 13, 2009

Fasciocutaneous muscle rotation flap to scalp & Split thickness skin graft





Well now that's a mouthful. I just received the paper work for the surgery and that is what they are calling it. I did not explain the surgery in a the previous post exactly right and may never explain it right but basically they need to rotate some of my existing scalp and keep part of it connected at the same time. In my previous post I said they were going to lift up my scalp completely and then rotate it. The docs need to leave some connected tissue to keep it all healing and growing.
Here are some pics.
I think I did 5 push ups before calling it quits.
I tried to mow the lawn and made it a couple of laps around the yard.
Easter Sunday with family. Landon ( my sisters son) and Gracie my daughter with me in the back yard.
Cheers
Todd

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Surgery , Here I come!!

Dr. Peter Grossman took a look at my head yesterday, Friday April 10th and said it was time to make some decisions. The wound bed still did not look the way he wanted so a basic skin graft will not work. What they are going to do is called a "Flip" in laymens terms. CENSOR...might get yucky hear for some.
Picture if you will a 6 inch square with a 3 inch circle in the middle. The 6 inch square would represent the total scalp to be worked on the the 3 inch circle is my wound. Now draw a line down the middle of this square and separate it. You now have two 3 inch by 6 inch rectangles with a half cirlcle on the side of it looking like a bite was taken out of it. Now take those two 3x6 inch pieces and flip them 180 degrees so that the half circle or "bite" is on the out side of the 6 x6 inch box. This in affact covers my wound with vascular 3 layer skin and allows it to join together. I now have two half moon open areas that need skin and those areas ( at or about at my hat line , you know, where a hat band might wrap around your head) will get a normal skin graft. If they have enough room they will take the needed skin from another area on my head or from my thigh. My wound will be covered by a healthy head of hair while the sides of my head will be bald.
I will be leaving SB at 3:30 am Wed morning April 15th and be under the knife around 6am or so. You might be thinking that this is going to hurt and I guess it will but I need to go forward or go crazy having this tube coming out of my head. Pain makes me thankful for when I do not have pain. It is interesting that some of the most basic things in life are so wonderful. A hot shower, a good meal, not being in pain ect. If you are ever feeling sorry for yourself that you can not go on vacation or do something fun just don't take a shower for 8 days and when you take a shower, you will fee like you are on vacation! And yes lather up that scalp and scrub real hard, it to is a nice pleasure. You see folks, this accident has been a good reminder for me not to complain. The simple pleasures in life are a gift to us and often overlooked. Please remind me of this when you see me complain, I am sure my complaining is not over! ha.
I also wanted to mention that my fingers are offically un wrapped and open to the air. They are kind of grungy looking, a little stiff and just a bit numb but last night I got to do one of those simple pleasures, I washes my two hands together for the first time in 3 weeks!! Heck I'm on Vacation!!
Mucho Gusto ( kind of a joke while at Ensanada when asked if I liked some food and I said "nice to met you")
See ya---------Todd
Romans 11: 33-36

Monday, April 6, 2009

Hurry up and wait. A mentionable Team.

A good evening to you all.
Today I had my head checked....no not that kind of check, you know, my big ol' rasberry on my head. Dr. Kirt removed my VAC and let me tell you, the medical world put duct tape to shame. Man that medical tape sticks well! I couldn't resist and asked to see the wound on my head. Interesting. It looks kind of like Austrailia or some other kind of island. ----Censor...Reading the following might make you quizy---- The edge of the wound, say a 1/4 of an inch border was red with a little blood, but the majority of the wound looked white. Dr. Kirt told me that I was looking at my Gabium (sp). He said it looked OK and was glad to not see any dark stuff but was not willing to plan any surgeries just yet. Doc. wants to keep the VAC on until Friday and then determine the next step. He wanted to see more...well let's just say more good stuff going on to take a skin graft. My fingers got about the same review, rewrapped till Friday. Yes I was hoping for a surgery date and was willing to go under the knfe right then and there but I need to be patient. Me, Patient?
Thanks Dr Kirt, Ruby and Lilly for your careful work.

Team. One of my favorite words. Yes this team I speak of was the Potter's Clay team I was priveledged to be part of while in Mexico. We were having such a good time until I had to go and ruin everything! ha. Folks let me tell you the Westmont college PC student volunteer is a special person. We had a lot of hard work to do and everyone had great atitudes and worked very diligently. We had a great time getting to know each other while working and visiting our favorite taco stand. We were led by Kelly and Evan who humbly and lovingly got us going in the right direction every day. Thank you two for your great leadership. I am also grateful to Rita, Julia, Natalia, Leanna, Christy, Tim, Reed, and Pay-kiss. Sorry bro you said to sound out your name like pay and kiss so that's how I worte it! hah. May the Lord bless you all. See you at the reunion. note....Almost forgot about the best co-construction leader a guy could ever have...Jim... and I thought that even before he saved my life on that roof!!

-----SPECIAL INVITE TO ALL-----
SANTA BARBARA COMMUNITY CHURCH will be having their Easter service at the UCSB Faculty Club Green, 9:30-11:00 a.m. this Sunday April 12th. Come at 9:00 am for some food and chit chat. This outdoor venue is wide open and beautiful. Bring a chair and or blanket or sit in the chairs provided. See you there?

Question for you: What are you passionate about?

Till next time. -----Mucho Gusto!----

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Party Fingers Tidbits

Good Day to all of you.
There were somewhere between 100-200 sightings of Todd yesterday at his party. Lots of hugging, a few tears and no wrestling! A BIG THANK YOU to all who came to the party. Heather said to me, "boy you have a lot of friends...I think you have more than me" I don't know about all that but I do know I am surrounded by great people, loving people and people who really care. It is ironic that one might need to go through something like this in order to really see the height and width and breadth and depth of this Love. Amazing. I am also touched by the new friendships I have made. Thank you seems to come up short.
I had my fingers checked yesterday and the Mepolex that came off had to go back on. Not quite healed yet. No problem. Mepolex ( sp ) is basically a 1/8 inch thick foam rubber that is impregnated with a bunch of good healing stuff including some form of silver. All of my other burns were covered in this wonder wrap. I really appreciate this stuff but after they took the Mepolex off my arms and neck I felt like a new person. Let's hope the fingers are ready for the rest of their open air healing when they look at my head on Monday. As you may know we are hoping and praying that the awesome docs at GBC will say its time to get my head closed up.
Tidbits?
Some of you may have read some notes on my time in the Hyperberic Chamber. This chamber is used to promote healing by putting your entire body in this large clear tube. While in this tube you are fed a steady diet of 100% O2 at a simulated depth of 33 feet under water. This light pressure and 100% Oxygen push into the skin and entire body. My wonderful respiratory therapists, Herb and Steve did a great job getting me comfortable with a piece of gum, reassurance, skill and a cool movie to make the 85 minute therapy go by faster. Those who are claustrophobic might find this experience tough but after the 10 sessions I had it was old hat.
Got a chance to see some of my great nurses while at GBC on Friday. Get ready because "I'll be baack" Couldn't think of a better bunch to take care of me after my next surgery!
I keep learning little things about the course of the accident and Heather reminded me that I texted her on that Thursday morning asking her to pray for safety. What is odd is that I am not the most belt and suspenders kind of guy. I also had this great need to ask for the same prayers on Wed. night when the Westmont Prayer and Worship team came by. Did God answer this prayer or not? I had a chance to fall through the rafters but did not, I had a chance to fall 26 feet to the concrete below on the end of the building, 22 feet to fall off the side of the building, I had no acute trauma, my ekg's were like nothing happened, I spent a long time getting off the roof and to 2 Esanada hospitals and then a 1.5 hours trip to UCSD. Any kind of bodily function failure would have been tough to overcome. The surgeons at GBC were getting ready to drill my skull based on the data from UCSD. When they opened me up they saw no need to get rid of what looked like dead bone. There was also fear that my brain would swell but id did not. Ok I will stop. You can decide for yourself whether or not Got answered this prayer. Question for you:
Is your cup half empty or half full?
Blessing to all of you. Breakfast is ready...Thanks Heather for all your care...What a gift.
Todd

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Some Facts or near facts of the accident

Good evening friends and family.
I thought I would try and give as many facts as I could of the accident. Many have come in the middle of all this and much of what I am going to say could possibly be found somewhere in the pages of this blog. The following will be choppy and short.
I was in Ensanada Mexico working on a Church with a group called Potters Clay. This Westmont College led minsitry goes to Ensanada every year to build, play sports, and put on a whole vacation bible school event as well. ( More than that too)
I was shocked when my head touched a 13,500 volt open line that was 32 feet off the ground. Notice I said shock and not electrocution. Electrocution would mean that I died. The peak of our structure was 26 feet. This line had gone un noticed as we had to concentrate so much on our footing below. I was at the peak ready to lay some more ply wood and ZAP!! Did it hurt? Never felt a thing. Witnesses said I had an orange glow around my head. I was standing of the top of the open framed roof and fell onto the ply wood side of the roof. My head landed a foot from the edge of the roof and my body lay inbound of that. I was continuing to flop down and off the roof when my HERO Jim Peterson grabbed my tool belt and pulled me to safety. Later through another sheepish story telling of what happpened, Jim mumbled off the part about my face scraping across the asphalt shingles as he instinctively pulled me to safety. This detail for some reason gave me a real good needed laugh. Thanks Jim, hopefully some scars will stay to remind me of you. ( seriously).
I was unconscience for a good 2 minutes and lasped in and out for the 30 minutes I lay on the roof. I was rushed to a local hospital only to be sent to another that might have a CATSCAN machine. Later I took an ambulance ride to San Diego and met the SDSU ambulance. My fearless brother and myself met a EMT medic and a RN. They sent an RN to help out with the severity of the situation I guess. My brother was being interviewed by the RN to get all the data on me. SDSU was intending to take me to the burn center. The very calm cool RN asked about the amount opf voltage I was shocked with and when Jeff told her is was 13.5KV she lost her composure and said Holy **** we got to take him to the trauma center now!! We have had many good laughs from that one ( Jeff tells the story the best) . I spent near 4 days in SDSU and was transferred to GBC ( Grossman Burn Center) I spent about a week there and now am home. I sustained 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my right 3 fingers on right hnad, right forarm, arm, shoulder burns. My face was cut up ( ha) but the real doosy is my head. I got a 4thish degree burn up there and this is what is causing some head scratching on their part ha. It's a tricky wound and will need some kind of skin graft. I will know more next week. I wait for surgery with this VAC thing stuck to my head to keep the wound bed healing but not healing over. Skin grafts have to be done perfectly or they will not take. You and I can only receive our own skin for a permantant skin graft. This is what is so brutal about burns. First you get burned , then you get kind of peeled to fix your burns. By what I saw at GBC, I got off easy. Many ( Including our code named "Hope" suffer much worse. If you happen to be praying for me, please ask God for his mercy on the patients who occupy 34 beds at the GBC. Lord come quickly.
Hope to see you FRIDAY April 3rd at our house from 5-7pm for the Todd Is Alive Party. Don't beleive me? Just come on over, we can hug, wrestle and cry together. OK forget the wrestle part. Good night.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Todd tries to type.

Hey folks,
It would be an understatement to say that I am incredibly grateful for all of you. Your prayers and support have overwhelmed me to tears.
I sit here in my office Wed night after 24 hrs of being home. We have enjoyed great meals provided by you and made it home in time to watch Idol. We had a great time listening and judging the group, laughed, and smiled......I AM HOME!!! It feels great. Today I caught up a little in the office , took a nap and hobbled out to the mesa to watch my son fly his RC jet.
Friday I go back to the burn center for a look at my 3 fingers and Monday they look at my head. After that they will inform me of possible skin grafting surgery dates. Right now it is a waiting game, I have this VAC thing taped to my head. I look like a Sci-fi creature but hey, I AM HOME!
I want to acknowledge the great hospitals that worked on me. SDSU Hospital was amazing. When I got transferred from the Esanada ambulance to the SDSU rig/hospital it was like watching a INDY 500 pit crew and an orchestra at the same time. As I looked up I saw this amazing array of people and machines descending on me. I felt safe with them and will never forget the experience. My super cool Brother Jeff and wonderful wife Heather hauled me up to the Grossman Burn Center. a few days later. I am so thankful for this hospital and the entire staff. My nurses and Docs were some of the kindest people to meet. This staff cared for me flawlessly. I made many friends and really miss them.
I plan at some point to really pencil out this journey I am on but until my fingers and head get better, this will have to be the short version.
By many accounts I should be much more severely hurt or even dead. God obviously had other plans. Thank you all of you.
Todd
PLEASE NOTE---ALL ARE INVITED TO OUR HOME FRIDAY APRIL 3 FROM 5-7PM FOR A TODD IS ALIVE PARTY. Come for 5 minutes or 2 hours, we would love to see you.
5275 Louisiana Place
Santa Barbara 93111

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Todd's Home!

What great news to be home a day early! After the surgery today it became apparent that there was no medical reason to stay in the hospital another night so here we are. Jeff and I brought Todd home around 5:00 today to a very surprised family. We had yet another yummy dinner provided by generous friends and now everyone in the Ridenour clan, plus a few are watching American Idol....hmmmmm?

The results of the surgery earned a "C" grade, but the treatment is as we expected. Dr. Grossman found a very small patch of more dead tissue, nurse Barbara put it "electrical burns are the gift that keeps on giving." He will wear the VAC until monday when he will return to the GBC to see if the VAC has stimulated any tissue growth and to make a plan about what kind of grafting surgery will take place. The expectation is that Todd will have hair over his wound at some point, but the immediate goal is just to get the wound healed to avoid infection. Speaking of infection, he does NOT have a Staff "infection" He has Staff "colonies" present (many of us would if our noses were swabbed...eew) but not an infection and those are very different things.
Though they haven't cultured him in days (and don't plan to unless signs of infection are present visibly) the doctors think that the Staff has probably washed off by now as there was only a very small amount present in one neck wound...I feel better. Todd's fingers will get some attention on Friday; they seem to be about five days behind in the healing process I think because they just weren't noticed at first.

Speaking of FRIDAY, now that we are home we thought it would be fun to have an open house/come say hi to Todd afternoon from 5-7pm. You are all invited! We will have snacks, the volleyball net up, lots of laughs and some happy tears, I'm sure, knowing my sweet husband. How dear all of you are to us...even those we don't really know or haven't seen in years. Your love has overwhelmed our hearts...it's hard to absorb how beautiful these past couple of weeks have been....Todd will share with you later.

Isn't God good to give us each other? Thank you, Lord for being perfect...though we don't always understand we trust you. Nite, Nite Heather