Saturday, April 24, 2010

52 Thursdays

52 Thursdays

What a contrast? A year ago I was just getting released from the Grossman Burn Center for the first time in 12 days of hospitalization. I had a Wound Vac attached to my head like a suction cup and many more surgeries awaited me. I am writing this one year anniversary note from the island of Lanai. Yes a contrast. Much of my thinking in the last week has been directed toward thankfulness. Thankful for life, the raw gift of life. Thankful for my great family. Thankful to God for sparing me. Thankful to Jim who had the awareness to grab me from falling off the roof. Thankful for all that God has taught me in this injury trial. Life is a gift. Each day is a gift. Almost loosing my life and being among the 5% who would survive such a shock makes me overwhelmed with gratitude. Radical Gratitude. (this is the name of a book I am reading and thought this catchy phrase would be appropriate about right now)
This year has taught me so many things. Many of which you may have read about in my blog like thankfulness, gratitude, thoughts and awareness of entitlement, thoughts and realization of my theology toward loss and pain, being a survivor and not a victim, the overall increased awareness of being part of the family of God and the long and high and wide and deep love that God has for you and me! Talk about a run-on sentence!
Before We took off as a family to Maui for the Week and then ditching the kids for a celebration of Heather and I being married for 25 years, I spent the week in Ensanada Mexico participating in Westmont’s Potter’s Clay. As you may remember I was hurt while on this trip last year. It was a great reunion and great time being there. Jim and I were again a contractor team working with Westmont students building for and loving the less fortunate in this great town. We got a good laugh when we showed up to our building site. Not only were there no overhead wires, there was no power at all! I thought the PC construction staff was playing a joke on me! We did struggle with the power issue all week but managed a long cord from a neighbor and a gas generator supplementing our needs. These struggles, however, were a blessing compared to the “struggles” I had last year with electrical power! ha.
A couple of highlights:
On Wed our team went to a church service at Grand Commission, a church we went to last year and the year before. This church is full of Energy and Life. I always learn so much when I go there. The Zeal for the Lord is great and humbling at the same time. How come I don’t embrace the Lord like this? We had a multicultural party unto the Lord. At the beginning of the service Jim noticed our Pastor from last year was preparing to speak to all of us. I wish I could remember his name right now ( Lalo comes to mind.) Through interpretation we started to realize this pastor started recounting the story of my injury. Prior to my injury it turns out that this church has been going through some struggles. I did not hear this last year but part of the church we built on had burned down. The pastor was greatly discouraged and wondered if he should continue. Despite this hardship the pastor felt like God was telling him to continue with the church and that He would bring a miracle to their church. Some time after the fire, PC decided to build the second story to the church. The pastor and congregation were overjoyed and wondered if this was the miracle that God was giving them? Fast forward to Thursday March 19th 2009. As the pastor pulled up to the church and seeing all the medical vehicles and hearing what happened, he was greatly distressed and wondered what God was doing? Lord, what about the miracle? After some time had passed and the pastor learned that I was going to be Ok and after he learned that 95% of those shocked by 13,200 volts would not have survived such an ordeal, it dawned on the pastor that this was the Miracle. My life being spared was the miracle God was giving to this church. This church in turn has been encouraged by this. Their faith has grown and this church is still going today. God does work in mysterious ways, dosen’t He? I was touched by the Certificate of Recognition given to me that night and when many pastors there laid hands on me and prayed for me, it was an incredible experience. One I will never forget.

The second event I want to share about was about a house that burned while we were there. Actually our team could see the smoke and some saw the flames. Not a quarter mile away a young girl was cooking with some oil on a stove and things got our of hand. Trying to extinguish an oil fire with water actually increased the flames and soon the roof caught fire. Almost the entire roof was lost along with just about everything they owned. Thankfully no one was hurt and the walls stood the test of fire being made with masonry. We were finishing our little 20x30 foot home with time to spare so the thought came up; what if we could fix the roof for these people? The fire happened on a Tuesday. Wednesday some brothers from the Grand Commission and some members from our team ( Go Hanna! ) came in and removed all the charred framing and debris. Thursday morning we had lumber dropped off and now started the mad dash to frame this 30x30 foot roof in one day. For those of you who have a weird relationship with math and facts may have realized that this particular Thursday was exactly 52 Thursdays from the day of my accident. The rest of you are getting it for the first time.(Friday was the real anniversary) As the day poured on we had many visitors. The mayor of Ensanada and his wife Lucia came by for a visit. In the frantic pace I had the privilege to meet Lucia and was greeted with enthusiasm, hugs and yes, even a kiss on the cheek! Lucia had known about my accident and was happy to see me working there again. We charged on throughout the day. Some other teams had extra time as well and when 2 more contractors showed up I felt like we might get this thing done. What an incredible blessing this day was. Exactly 52 weeks ago I was shocked and burned. 52 weeks later I am rebuilding a roof that was burned. I was down for the count 52 weeks ago and on this day I am rebuilding a home destroyed by fire. If I wasn’t so busy I might have just sat there and shed tears of thankfulness and gratitude. By days end my co-contractor and friend Bobby, Westmont students and I were covered in dirt, soot and sweat. We were tired from a day of going up and down ladders. Tired from the battle of out of level and out of square walls. Despite these little thoughts, at days end Bobby and I had one of the best days of our lives. When we got back to camp with a completed roof under our belts and a hot shower waiting for us I asked Bobby if he will remember this day? He said “yes I will remember it” and I said, “me too, for the rest of my life”. Despite our human rationalizing of wanting comfort and serving ourselves, God has made us to serve one another, in that, He is given Glory when we do this and we are blessed in special ways when we dare to serve. No, I am not trying to make myself out to be some kind of saint, what I am trying say is that if we serve Him, he will make the grubbiest jobs seem like a day on Lanai but only better. Sitting here in the lap of luxury is nice but I long for that Satisfaction the the Lord dispenses on us when we dare to not make life about ourselves.
The Lord has been good to me. He has taught me more about Himself. His character. His ways. The Lord is also hard to figure out sometimes. Why did he spare me? Why did he allow it to happen? These are questions we will be asking until we are with Him. I can not second guess God, blame God or be angry at God. These feelings produce bitterness and emptiness. One thing I do know about God is that He is trustworthy!

I will never forget the day my mother died. We were all right there together when she passed. Moments after her death my father spoke some words from the book of Job. “The Lord giveth and the Lord Taketh away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.” I am with my dad on this, yes, Blessed Be The Name Of The LORD!
Though the December 19th 2009 passing of my mom has been really hard, we remain thankful. Jackie was an awesome, wonderful, joyful, fun mom that I was blessed to have for 46 years. Christmas was tough this year without her and really every gathering we have reminds us of losing her but Gramme would not want all of us to to sit around feeling sorry for her or us and anyone else. She would want us to push on. Keep meeting, keep loving, keep enjoying each other. Mom was so good at those things and many others. She never complained and always drew the attention away from herself. Here she would be so sick in bed and having just thrown up but would quickly start asking me how I was doing, how my head was doing and what I was up to. Saying that it was a priviledge to have her for my mom is an understatement. We are so happy that she in in the loving arms of Jesus. Home with Him, no more pain and suffering.
This year has had its challenges but we remain in Him, Trusting Him with all of our lives. The Good ( Life ) the bad, ( losing loved ones ) and the ugly, ( my head...ha )
Don’t forget to press on. Do forget about yourself. Don’t be afraid to do so. Do have a wonderful day and love Him in and through all things!
Sincerely Todd

Friday, November 27, 2009

8 ball corner pocket ( forgot to post some months past)

The title has nothing to do with anything I am going to say except that it has been over 8 months now since my accident. I realized after reading back a few posts that I have not given much of an update on my progress/health. I don't want to bore you all so I will say it as fast as I can.
After more than 200 days with open wounds on my head, I am all healed up. Due to the rotation of my scalp, I have some hairs growing down and sideways instead of up. this is cause for very minor ingrown hair pain mostly when I shampoo my head. As you read before, I now have a trauma induced cataract. While looking into that more they found a very small hole in my retina ( Macular). The docs will watch that and I may have to have a retina surgery down the road. My leg coordination is getting better. I have noticed that when I do very strenuous workouts, ie climbing San Marco Pass and Painted Cave roads on my bike, my legs feel a little funny the days following. I am sure this will pass. I go back Dec 10 for a check up where they will ask me (again) if I want to have the tissue expansion and all that to get my hair line back somewhat the way it was. At this point it is something I do not want to do. Another 6 or more surgeries and countless trips to Sherman Oaks is not something I want to do right now.
Thanksgiving: This is my favorite holiday. We planned to make a trip to Mexico to be with my folks but my mom was again having a hard time and had to go back into the hospital. Have you ever held someone is such high esteem that words can't do them justice? Words like strong, loving, kind, non-complaining, selfless, tough, and faithful are close but they seem flat at the same time. Those were a few words that describe my mom and my dad. If its not my mom's strong, tough, non-complaining grit its my dad's loving, kind, selfless, faithful actions that leave me speechless. In an era where the average marraige lasts 7 years, and you learn that my parents have been together for 56 you get the feeling you are among the "greats" when it comes to relationships. It's not just the 56 years but 56 years of loving, devoted kindness to each other that sets them apart. How can I learn to love like this? Do I have what it takes to leave the comforts of home for several months and be at the side of Heather 24/7? And when I say 24/7, I mean every moment. A few weeks ago as we visited them, Jeff heard my parents getting up in the middle of the night for yet another shuffle to the bathroom. Mom needed help getting her IV and stand into the bathroom. Mom looked up at Dad in the dark and said "thanks for loving me" and my dad responded to her " honey, I love you so much." That may seem like a typical husband wife routine but when you put it in the context of where they were and what time it was, and what they have gone through, it made we want to cry. 1 Corinthians 13 comes to mind.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

7 months

A little update on my mom. Appearently my mom should have been a Navy SEAL or something because her will to live is amazing. After 2 American doctors told her to go home and get Hospice she decided to go back down to Mexico for more alternative treatment. Though she is hurting on a daily/hourly basis, she continues to fight and fight well. Fight well? How do you fight well? You fight with a daily smile and chin up attitude. You fight without blame or pity. You fight by loving those around you though you are tired and in pain. Love doesn't take a day off in my mom's life.
How often do we lash out at those around us when we are uncomfortable, sick or just had a bad day. What a great example Jacquelin is of a person who does not let her circumstances dictate her outlook and love for others and life.
Another hero of mine is my Dad. I asked him a year ago or more as I was trying to formulate some thoughts on "what it means to be a man" so I could show this to my son and train him. My Dad didn't say being a man was someone who read their bible everyday though that is a great step to being a man. He also did not say that being a man was being a strong leader though that too is a great step to being man. What he said was "Being a man is doing the dishes, cleaning up the house and cooking and helping my wife anyway I can." Being a man is sacrifice. Sacrifice for your spouse of 56 years. Fritz wouldn't exactly say it is a "sacrifice" but more like a priviledge to care for his bride. He has been and will be at her side till the Lord decides otherwise. Yes a Great man he is!
I get asked once a week or so about how my accident happened. I go through the whole thing play by play and almost everytime I get caught up, choked up when I get to the part where Jim grabbed me from rolling off the roof. I have thought about this part of the accident a lot. Why is this so emotional? My guess is that most of you have never had your life saved in a real tangible way. It's a powerful thing to behold. It's humbling. It's surreal. it's awe-inspiring and it's a whole bunch more. My life was saved by the action of someone acting quickly. What if Jim was on the other side of the roof? What if he just didn't think of grabbing me? That grabbing me changed my life. It's gnarly if you think about it. So now after 7 months my head starts to think about Jesus in this aspect. When I asked if you have ever had your life saved by someone I expected that most of you answered no, but wait. Jesus saves us. Wants to save us. Jesus came to earth so that we could live. He wants to grab us from falling off that roof. Sure your life will have its bumps and twists and turns and pain and surgeries and loss and so on, but in the end Jesus wants to grab us. He will pull you and me to eternal safety. The best rescue possible. If you are not a believer I implore you to think about that. if you are a believer I ask you to take some time today to thank God for rescuing you, grabbing you, saving you.
This kind of leads me into another thing I want to reiterate. This reiteration is the simple fact that God is not a circumstantial God. Meaning, My view of God is only good when ALL is going well for me. When all my family is safe. When my hair looks good--ha. What hair? ( I just had to add a little humor there) God is great and warm and special as long as no one in MY family has cancer, as long as no one in my family is hurting, as long as I have a good job, as long fill in the blank. At the very same time of this thinking, people are starving. Children are dieing. People are getting killed. Some one lost their son in battle today. Someone else's daughter was hit by a car. Someone else's mother has cancer. As long as my life bubble is not being popped I'm ok with all that suffering and loss. Well folks, to me that is absurd, selfish and just plain wrong. Yes we need to leave room for sadness and grief. Questioning and struggle. Pain and depression. After all we are human and God gave us emotions. Many of us will take our pain and hurt to our grave and for that I am sorry. I don't think that is wrong or anything. What gets me is how I can all of a sudden change my trust or love or warmth for God based on what has happened to me. There is a big difference between being in pain, or sad and being bitter or lamenting God in some way because of what has happened to me. I hope I have made this clear. I stand on the outer edge of grief and sadness. Yes I went through an accident but it mostly turned out great. I see though a glass darkly. I never want to diminish your real pain and suffering. It is real and it is hard. Just please, please consider God the same today, tomorrow yesterday and forever. I don't know why he does not Grab us from every calamity but my guess is our insisting on Free Will has something to do with it. God appears at times to act mightly and other times not at all. I will never figure out why. I have to trust Him for he is God and I am not.
I must ask you? What is hurting you right now? How is that affecting your view of God? Your relationship with Him? Find someone you trust and ask each other these 3 questions. If you are not hurting then ask yourself these questions in a "What if" kind of senario? One of the best times to think and and wrestle with your theology is while there is no real storm. Think it through, be prepared, be ready.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Half year mark.

Since my last surgery I have been down to the GBC several times for check ups. The good folks down there want to keep a close watch on these stubborn scar lines to make sure they heal up OK. I am on the last little itty bitty healing from my last scalpel encounter on Aug 19th. Everything looks fine and is healing up.
I am on my mountain bike 2-3 per week and getting stronger every week. My legs still feel weird but I am able to ride. My upper body is very weak and I need to get off my butt a little more and do some workouts beyond the bike.
A couple of great high lites from my last visit to Grossman was that I was able to visit with "Hope." She was in the hospital at the same time I was back in March. it was so great to talk to her. Hope will undergo a surgery in a couple of weeks to release the scar tissue on her neck. She is excited and scared to have the surgery. Nice to get the movement back but it is a pretty big surgery to. I suppose her littlest surgery was more invasive than my biggest procedures. Please pray for her. Talk about a tough person.
Moments after that inspiring visit I walked down the street to meet some friends I had not seen in 27 years. It was fun to catch up with Lori and Michele after such a long break. Pretty good emotional day if I really think about it.
I still get asked ( or told) from time to time that this whole deal has got to be really hard emotionally and physically. You know, all the pain, weakness and new wild hair do! I am settling to the fact that I have a crazy looking head but I feel more sorry about the person in the checkout line wondering what in the heck happened to that guy! ha. I catch people looking at me all the time. I am happy to talk about it but they have to ask first. I don't mean to be cavalier or cocky. Yes sometimes I look in the mirror or run my hands over my head in the shower and and think, Woah, dude, you got some issues up there...ha. but for the most part, the day to day and life I live, I am really fine with it. I guess all this tongue and cheek is be spoken because I am so thankful to be alive I don't care too much what I look like. You really have to try almost dying sometime to see what I mean. Life is a gift. Living longer than I should have is a gift. Vanity should be farther down our lists.
On a more somber note.
One of the toughest people I have know ( my mom ) Jackie is coming home from cancer treatments to wait out the inevitable. There is nothing more the good doctors can do for her. We are very sad. My mom has been a real "trooper" in all this. She does not complain. She continues to fight for life but it looks like things are winding down. Even when she is sicker than sick, she would always call me and see how my surgeries were going etc. She cares so much for her family that cancer will not let her stop caring and loving. Please pray for her, Fritz and our whole family as we go through this. I am blessed with a great mother. For 45 years she has shown me strength, service, love, an excellent sense of humor and a great example of a godly woman.
What about you? Are you seeing things as you should? God is the same today yesterday and forever. We are the ones changing, getting old, or hurt, or dismayed. Stay the course. For those who Love Him, we are just making a pit stop. My mom will hurt no more and for that I am grateful. Tearful? Yes, but oh so grateful.
PS--Don't forget to pray for Jacob Kirkendall. he is home for now and doing well but has a long road to go.

Friday, August 21, 2009

5 month anniversay celebrated in the halls of the GBC.

My fifth month anniversary was celebrated at the Grossman Burn Center having my 7th surgery. I had not mentioned this before in the hope that the 2 dime sized holes that popped up through a scar line would heal on its own. A month went by and these conduits to my skull would not close. On August 19 I got up once again with my faithful wife at 3am and headed to the halls of surgery. It was fun to see so many of the great care givers from before. So friendly, so kind.
The problem with these little unhealing spots was that my scalp around them was very unforgiving and not flexible. You would think a little office visit and a shot of Novocaine would have done the trick but no, I had to get on that familiar table and go off to lala land. The day after the surgery I was having more pain than expected for what I hoped would be some minor incisions, stretch and restitch. On Friday I went back to the GBC for a checkup and peak at the wound site. Much to my surprise I had a "new" stitched area that looked like a plus sign with 4 inches on each length of the "plus" ( see photo) Woah! No wonder this "little" surgery hurt so much. I thought I was getting kind of soft there for a minute! ha. The docs said it was quite difficult to get this stubborn area closed. Basically a mini muscle flap rotation was performed. I suppose I will be healing for another month. I was also tested to MRSA staff and it was positive. The docs are not sure if the colony of staff was part of why my scalp popped open or not. I am on some new anti-biotics to help kill this staff. As you may know, many of us have staff on ourselves. When the staff "colonizes" it is fairly harmless. When it gets infected is when you see the gooey sores that people get. That's no good for sure. At this moment I am not sure what I have. Monday will reveal more. You know, if you wouldn't mind, could you pray that this MRSA stuff goes away for good. This MRSA could be a link to the lengthy healing process....I don't know for sure.
Having a chin strap and head full of gauze wrap with a vessel drain for 2 days was a solid reminder to be thankful for the open air my head had enjoyed for the last couple months. On Saturday I will be back to bandannas and washing my head every day.

I had been wanting to write something for this month resembling the "greatest hits" of the last 5 months. The all time greatest hit was and is...You. I still shake my head and am amazed at the love and care I have been shown. My whole notion of God's love has expanded from Santa Barbara to Uganda, from Oregon to Tanzania, From college campus' to churches and everywhere in between. I am still being approached by people I don't know who say they were and are praying for me. Pretty cool!
Another highlight was learning to appreciate the little luxuries in life. Food, showers, and to lay my head down on a pillow. As I mentioned before, if you are feeling a little sorry for yourself that you didn't get to go somewhere or do something that you really wanted to do, just don't eat or shower for a few days and eating and showering will become some of those really cool things you get to do. I tried it and it works. ( I can't wait to put my head under the shower head on Saturday..Wahooo!)
What does it take for you to be humble? Does it take some kind of failure. Job loss. Realization of what and who God is? Another way is to get hurt. Its humbling to essentially get your butt kicked by something. This experience has softened my heart to Him and to people. Yes to people. Before the injury I enjoyed spending 'some" time with friends but now I really really enjoy it. So much that the night of my surgery I was at some friends house having a great time...I didn't want to miss out. Thanks Todd and Bonnie! Another funny thing was the realization that we were having 14 young life staff at our house from Wed. surgery day through Saturday. You might be thinking it was really hard to do this but no, it was and is a joy to have them. Of course having a wife with the gift of hospitality makes this a bit easier as well. Thank you Heather for all your love for all of us, including our new Young life friends from Austin Texas ! Great bunch of godly men and women. It has been a sweet encouragement to our family just to be around them for this short time.
Oh and yes, what about this idea of not whining or complaining. I have to admit that I have caught myself complaining a couple of times since my injury. Bad boy Todd. Complaining and whining is so unattractive and gets us no where. Be thankful, Be strong, Be kind. This no whining idea kind of leads into one of my favorites, be a SURVIVOR not a victim. There really is no more room for any more victims in our world. What happened has happened and you and I are alive. We are here, we made it. I Survived!
Contentment. I think pre injury I was less content. I wanted to do things I wanted to do and do them now. I even think I had this "angst" about doing the things I wanted to do. The Lord has taken the place of that angst and yes, I still do things I want to do but if I don't do them it's more Ok, no big deal, I'll do that later. What a blessing it is to feel content.
This next one might seem silly but I still have this strong sense of the joy it was to ride a bike for the first time post injury. It was like being a little kid again. Remember when you learned to ride a bike for the first time and how cool it was to just ride around and around? It was a little interesting to ride post injury for the first time due to my Neurological balance issues I was having. I decided to go for it and thankfully I kept my balance and had a wonderful time.
Its those little things in life that make us smile more often than the huge blessings we may receive from time to time. Don't forget to look for those "little" things when you go out and about this week.
I can go on and on but won't. I surely hope things are going well for you. If not I hope the Big picture will give you cause to be thankful, content, and enjoying Him.

PS__Please keep praying for Jacob. Jacob's Journey He has a long road ahead of him. Another reminder of how easy my injuries have been comparitively.

Friday, July 17, 2009

4 months, 1 cateract, Jacob and a long drive.

I was reminded once again that I don't want to drive home after 2pm from Sherman Oaks. The 1.5 hour trip took nearly 3 hours.
I first stopped off at my eye doctor, Dr. Baskin and told me my Iritus was finally gone but why am I still seeing spots? Apparently I have a traumma induced cateract. Dr. Baskin said he has seen this kind of thing happen to people who have had trauma. He wants to watch my eye for a few months and sometime later I suppose I will get the short quick surgery.
I then continued on to GBC and met up with Dr. Peter. I still have some open spots on my head and they were acting infected. When they rotated my scalp there was a pinky nail sized spot where they could not close the scalp together. this area healed over then turned grey and then became an open wound again. Dr. Peter said the open spot goes right down to my skull. I will go back on the 27th and if it is not closing up He will do a little precedure in the office and stich it together.
Sunday 7-19-09 marks 4 months since my accident. its been an incredible road of support, mercy and Healing. I am still thankful, still feel fortunate, still feel blessed, and still am so glad for your support and love for this old guy and his family.
I have just heard about a 17 year old boy who was shocked by high voltage. Jacob was shocked while at the beach of all places. if you have time could you please pray for him? He is just getting out of being in an induced comma and is in a lot of pain.
Here is has blog. Jacob's Journey: Small steps
He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Job 1
See ya.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

3-19-09 - 6-19-09

It has been an interesting 3 months. I still look in the mirror and wonder if it's all real or not. Twenty one days in the hospital. Another 3 weeks of sporting a head VAC and six surgeries. Can it all be real and true? Apparently it is.
I made the familiar trek to the Grossman Burn Center for a checkup. Nice to see Dr. Peter , Kurt, Corrina and Lilly. The place was abuzz with patients but Dr. Peter still took the time to hang out a bit and talk. As Dr. Peter examined my head we talked about future reconstruction of my scalp. First I need to wait a good six months before I do anything. The idea would be to expand the scalp I have by basically stretching it with these surgically installed "Tissue Expanders". The stretched out scalp skin would then be spread out over my bald spots and ..Walla!, the bald is gone. The result would be a fully restored head of hair. This does come with a price though. 4 surgeries over several months and the tissue expansion makes one look a guy with a huge tumor on his head. These baseball sized expansions would get bigger and bigger by way of injecting fluid into the Tissue Expansion device. The big question is: Do I really need to do this? Heather has informed me that she will not leave me if I remain like I am...hah but on the other hand she thinks that the restored scalp would serve as a great protection against skin cancer, cuts and bruises. Part of me think it vain to do this stuff and the other part thinks its a practical matter. Do I want to wear hats and sunscreen on my head for the rest of my life? Not that big of deal, I am getting used to the hat thing. Its funny, when I talk to my balding or bald cohorts, I don't get a lot of sympathy. They look at me like "What's the big deal" Hair loss loves company I guess? I have great empathy for those who have life altering body changes such as the badly burned. People like to look and stair and wonder. My deal is nothing like that but I have to say I am self conscious of my head and how I "look". It's been a good exercises in what is important and the whole vanity thing. Are you OK with a chunk of scalp missing from your head? I am beginning to think the answer for me is..YES. Our society puts great emphasis on looks and beauty and I am part of that thinking. I like when someone thinks I am handsome as I suppose you do to. The far greater compliment though, is when someone thinks you are beautiful inside. We settle for the exterior stuff way to fast. Maybe because for some it is easy to be good looking because you were born that way. Not much to work at. Other's spend a great deal of time to get looking good, we all have our blessings right? I wonder if we spend more time thinking about our outer beauty instead of our inner beauty? How do others see you as a person on the inside? Ask them some time, you might be surprised.
I don't mean to put some kind of guilty trip on us but I do think it worthy to at least think about. I was really not sure of what to write on this 3 month anniversary. Funny what comes to mind.

Needless to say, Dr. Peter liked the healing on my head and I will now wait 3 months till my next office visit. 3 months? Wow, I am going to miss the GBC gang. It was great to see a few of the nurses and medical staff. I couldn't help to look a little in each room as I walked by. New people in the beds, new injuries, new issues. You know how we say the term "circle of lfe" well I thought of that term in an injury sense, "circle of injury". We keep hurting ourselves. sometimes by our own dumb fault ( me) and sometimes by someone else. The injuries just keep coming. I must say it felt really great and really not great being there. I loved seeing my nursing friends but as I walk in a hospital now, I have this "all to familiar" feeling. Can't move too much, being wrapped up like a mummy, needles, pain, surgery, burns, dressing changes and the like. Kind of surreal I guess. I hope I am not conveying complaint here, its just a feeling I got whilst there. One good bit of news I did while there was that the lady who was burned so bad code named "Hope" is at home now. She has daily contact with GBC but a least she's home. Continue to pray for her and all of the 34 occupied beds at the GBC.

As you can imagine I hear many stories of how others have been shocked or electrocuted. The newest story was told to me about a woman who was told to shake the sparking temporary power pole at a construction site. The strung up wires were buzzing and sparking and the best advice was to shake the pole to get the sparking to go away. This shaking brought the lines down on her head. She was shocked with 220 volts and spent 2 full months in the hospital and still has brain function problems. When I heard how bad this woman was hurt with 220 volts I was humbled to be alive after a 13,200 volt experience. I have been hearing so often that "you are lucky to be alive" and so on and yes that is what I kind of want to hear but it is said so often its lost its impact. When I heard this story about this lady it renewed that idea in a special way. Luck? That word seems so random and shallow. If we do not believe that God is involved with ALL of what happens to us, we need to open up our bibles and get our theology right. Why was I so graciously spared? Why are others not spared? Not sure myself or anyone can answer such questions. All I can do is be grateful for being spared, be grateful for life, grateful that I know this incredible God, grateful for friends and family and know that God has more plans for me
(and you) as long as we are breathing on this earth!

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there.
See Ya------------Electro Todd