3-19-09 - 6-19-09

It has been an interesting 3 months. I still look in the mirror and wonder if it's all real or not. Twenty one days in the hospital. Another 3 weeks of sporting a head VAC and six surgeries. Can it all be real and true? Apparently it is.
I made the familiar trek to the Grossman Burn Center for a checkup. Nice to see Dr. Peter , Kurt, Corrina and Lilly. The place was abuzz with patients but Dr. Peter still took the time to hang out a bit and talk. As Dr. Peter examined my head we talked about future reconstruction of my scalp. First I need to wait a good six months before I do anything. The idea would be to expand the scalp I have by basically stretching it with these surgically installed "Tissue Expanders". The stretched out scalp skin would then be spread out over my bald spots and ..Walla!, the bald is gone. The result would be a fully restored head of hair. This does come with a price though. 4 surgeries over several months and the tissue expansion makes one look like....well...like a guy with a huge tumor on his head. These baseball sized expansions would get bigger and bigger by way of injecting fluid into the Tissue Expansion device. The big question is: Do I really need to do this? Heather has informed me that she will not leave me if I remain like I am...hah but on the other hand she thinks that the restored scalp would serve as a great protection against skin cancer, cuts and bruises. Part of me think it vain to do this stuff and the other part thinks its a practical matter. Do I want to wear hats and sunscreen on my head for the rest of my life? Not that big of deal, I am getting used to the hat thing. Its funny, when I talk to my balding or bald cohorts, I don't get a lot of sympathy. They look at me like "What's the big deal" Hair loss loves company I guess? I have great empathy for those who have life altering body changes such as the badly burned. People like to look and stair and wonder. My deal is nothing like that but I have to say I am self conscious of my head and how I "look". It's been a good exercises in what is important and the whole vanity thing. Are you OK with a chunk of scalp missing from your head? I am beginning to think the answer for me is..YES. Our society puts great emphasis on looks and beauty and I am part of that thinking. I like when someone thinks I am handsome as I suppose you do to. The far greater compliment though, is when someone thinks you are beautiful inside. We settle for the exterior stuff way to fast. Maybe because for some it is easy to be good looking because you were born that way. Not much to work at. Other's spend a great deal of time to get looking good, we all have our blessings right? I wonder if we spend more time thinking about our outer beauty instead of our inner beauty? How do others see you as a person on the inside? Ask them some time, you might be surprised.
I don't mean to put some kind of guilty trip on us but I do think it worthy to at least think about. I was really not sure of what to write on this 3 month anniversary. Funny what comes to mind.

Needless to say, Dr. Peter liked the healing on my head and I will now wait 3 months till my next office visit. 3 months? Wow, I am going to miss the GBC gang. It was great to see a few of the nurses and medical staff. I couldn't help to look a little in each room as I walked by. New people in the beds, new injuries, new issues. You know how we say the term "circle of lfe" well I thought of that term in an injury sense, "circle of injury". We keep hurting ourselves. sometimes by our own dumb fault ( me) and sometimes by someone else. The injuries just keep coming. I must say it felt really great and really not great being there. I loved seeing my nursing friends but as I walk in a hospital now, I have this "all to familiar" feeling. Can't move too much, being wrapped up like a mummy, needles, pain, surgery, burns, dressing changes and the like. Kind of surreal I guess. I hope I am not conveying complaint here, its just a feeling I got whilst there. One good bit of news I did while there was that the lady who was burned so bad code named "Hope" is at home now. She has daily contact with GBC but a least she's home. Continue to pray for her and all of the 34 occupied beds at the GBC.

As you can imagine I hear many stories of how others have been shocked or electrocuted. The newest story was told to me about a woman who was told to shake the sparking temporary power pole at a construction site. The strung up wires were buzzing and sparking and the best advice was to shake the pole to get the sparking to go away. This shaking brought the lines down on her head. She was shocked with 220 volts and spent 2 full months in the hospital and still has brain function problems. When I heard how bad this woman was hurt with 220 volts I was humbled to be alive after a 13,200 volt experience. I have been hearing so often that "you are lucky to be alive" and so on and yes that is what I kind of want to hear but it is said so often its lost its impact. When I heard this story about this lady it renewed that idea in a special way. Luck? That word seems so random and shallow. If we do not believe that God is involved with ALL of what happens to us, we need to open up our bibles and get our theology right. Why was I so graciously spared? Why are others not spared? Not sure myself or anyone can answer such questions. All I can do is be grateful for being spared, be grateful for life, grateful that I know this incredible God, grateful for friends and family and know that God has more plans for me
(and you) as long as we are breathing on this earth!

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there.
See Ya------------Electro Todd