Released!

Released from what? Well, at my last doctors visit Dr.Peter and dr Kirt said it was time to play! I have been given full clearance to start any and all activities. After a week of chin wrap and soft spot, this is awesome news! I will have to admit I was getting a little rebellious with my chin wrapping toward the end of the 7 day sentence. After some 50-60 days out of 70 with Vacs and gauze and Mepolex and the like, I was getting a bit ancy to be free. It was music to my ears to have them say that the wrapping is over.
Concerns? Not too many.
1.There is a chance that I might get some in grown hairs on my head from how my scalp is growing in on each other.
2.My eye still has Iritus and after some rebellion in the eye drop department, my eye started to hurt some today. Note to self. Take eye drops.
3. Fingertips still numb and tingly.
4. My feet are a bit numb and tingly especially when I take off my shoes.
5. My legs are working a little better but very uncoordinated by pre injury standards. I had an informal talk with a neurologist and he said. " Basically you are going through a major "reboot" and you will be fine in 6 months".
6. My head is feeling pretty good but it has its tender spots.
Not saying these things as complaints but as information. Number 5 has got me concerned but I need to give it and all the items Time.
A friend asked me the other day how I was really doing with this whole thing? Am I really this "up"about the whole thing? Have I put myself in a corner with portraying this resilient attitude?
Answer- I remember coming out of surgery 4 with a VAC back on my head. That was some hard news to hear and it took a couple days to get it together. I was pretty down as I shared in a previous post. It was kind of funny that after Dr. Miua saw me he upped some medication I am taking and shortly after that I got a visit from the staff Phsycologist (Jonathan). Jonathan is a cool guy and talking to him is fun but I learned that one must be careful what they say in a hospital!! ha. I admit I was getting agitated with the whole head wrap deal, partly because some of it did not make sense to me. There were some days when I felt beat up particularly when I was basically blind with Iritus and after getting my sight back( thank you Dr. Baskin) I went to a doc appointment for my head and they poked and picked and packed and I had not taken any pain meds. Yes that was a hard day but really I feel thankful and blessed and ready to go on. I must give credit to God for getting me through this without great mental anguish. HE is Stronger than any situation. To tell you the truth I am way more affected by the fog than this injury. I have SAD, Seasonal Affected Disorder. The fog monster comes into Santa Barbara seemingly often and it really gets to me. I try to fight through it but after a few days I sometimes get down. Again, not complaining but sharing. Enough of this.
I was able to get on my bike in a real way yesterday. I rode 6 miles. It felt good and I went along at a pretty god clip. When my muscles are under tension they work better. Cycling has been something I have been doing most of my life so it is a good fit.
Sorry this update did not come sooner. My computer is on the blink and I didn't realize how easy it was to post from another computer.
Well I need to go. Chores to do, push ups to conquer and I was even thinking of trying some hits on my speed bag, ( boxing bag hangs from a platform....good for coordination).
Thanks for listening, praying and being the best support a fellow could ever have.
I will be posting about once a week until there is no more to say in case you want to know.
Stay tuned for next weeks post..I need you to remind me of something.
Todd

Victim or Survivor?

These two words are very interesting and powerful. We ( general public) use the word "victim" very liberally when talking about our situations. The dictionary says the definition of the word victim is:
1. a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency: a victim of an automobile accident.
The definition pretty much backs up what we call "victims" except that we ( general public) tend to take it a little too far. We are victims of coffee spills, long lines, bee stings and the like. It would be VERY easy to go into the Grossman Burn Center and start saying "victim this" and "victim that" but that word is no where to be found. It was quite refreshing to here the staff talk about their patients as "survivors". The GBC monthly news letter is called "Survivor Newsletter". I like that. Though the burn patients are victims according to Webster, it's an unhealthy way to look at things. Calling someone or referring to yourself as a survivor is a positive way of describing a tough situation. Instead of wallowing in self pity, anger and the like, being survivor makes me think of being thankful that I am alive. It makes me want to get better. It makes me feel stronger. Being a victim feels like wearing a heavy coat on a hot day. (or worse). We will never exactly know why things happen the way they do but we do know what Romans 8:28 says: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. I'm not saying we will not be without pain in these hard or bad things that happen to us but that somehow God has a bigger plan. A plan we do not understand. A plan that could look cruel or mean in our eyes but we have not the eyes of God. If I don't believe this I am afraid I would fall into the victim category. If I do that it will lead to an angry downward spiral that goes no where.
So,..... all that to say. I am a survivor! A person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks. (Webster)
I have survived 2 of my 7 days of chin wrap. How nice it is to take it off for showers.
I hope you have a great day, a thankful day, a survivor day!
Cheers------Todd

What kind of an anniversary present is this?

Today May 19th marks my 2 month anniversary of my injury date. Wow time flies by when your healing!
Ok, so what the heck in on my head. Little tiny bump in the road. Heather noticed that a 2.5 inch area of my flap was kind of mushy and full of fluid. I called GBC and they said to come down. dr. Kirt cut it open a little and tried to drain the area but not much came out. Good. He then proceeded to put my old friend, "chin wrap" back on for a week. I get to take it off before showers and then wrap it back up. Showers take a long time, don't they? say, 3-4 hours? hah. I need to keep pressure on that area and also absorb any fluid that comes up and that is what all the fuss is about. As I drove away I remembered it was my anniversary.
Kirt said not to worry, my head looks 97% good and refers to this little blip not even a 1/4 step backward. The wound looks great. I go back in a week and we will take the next step then. It was a great week or so of no wrap. This next week will make me even more thankful for an unobstructed head.
I knew they would do something to my head that would not be fun and I felt sorry for myself for about 10 minutes when thinking about it yesterday. I quickly snapped out of it and said to myself, "Bring it on". I will persevere. The alternative is just a whiny existence that no one wants to be around.
I leave you now gritting my teeth ( in a good way). I have been though 60 days of challenge, 7 more, no problem!!!
Over and out-------------------T
PS ---no "sorry you're all wrapped up again" comments. It comes with the territory. Be tough.

Graphic pics of my head.

Hello my strong stomached friends. I had a great doctor's visit on Friday. Things looked so good that Dr. Peter pulled out all my staples. When they install the staples they shoot down and instead of bouncing off the bottom of a stapler and folding in, they bounce off my skull and fold in.....NOT. Just kidding. Are you awake now? No, the staples are very short and have a little wiggle in each leg. They simply wiggle into my scalp and have great holding power. One of the advantages of having parts of my head without feeling is that when the doc pulls the staples, you don't feel it. Cool. My next doctor visit is in 11 days. I was going twice per week. Cool number 2! I can wear a hat and it covers my entire wound area. This is much quicker than a bandanna and, I might add, very stylish! ha. Cool number 3. I am going to start light exercise and see if I can get these skinny legs to cooperate. I was told by a doctor friend of mine that a person looses 14% of their muscle mass by being in bed for a week! Ouch! May 19 will represent 60 days since the accident. At least half those days were in bed and the other half have been with very little movement. Needless to say I have some work to do! Cool number 4. Speaking of work....I will make my first job site meeting on Monday at 8 a.m. its time to stop fooling around and get some work done! Cool number 5
I suppose I will run into people for quite some time who will be seeing me for the first time since the accident. I ran into Ed who was one of the contractors at Potter's Clay. I was grateful for his enthusiastic hello. We kind of re-lived the day I was hurt and it reminded me that I am a blessed fortunate man. By many accounts I should have died but God has other things in mind. Cool number 6. I have way less male entitlement thoughts and feelings...you know, like, Man I deserve this or I deserve that. Boy am I working hard, I deserve a vacation. Look at my achievements and service, I deserve good health and long life for me and my family Etc. My thoughts are now more like, Wow.. today is one more day than I should have had. Sweet. My wife has a husband and my children have a father. Everything post 3-19-09 is bonus, a gift, extra or as my friend Rocky says. "Gravy". But really all of life on this earth is bonus and we should be grateful for it. The real bonus, the real deal, is when we go to heaven after a life of believing who Jesus said He is. Until then its some ups, some downs, tragedies and blissfulness. How we handle "life" is a test that we all must pass because when we get through this life with gratefulness, thankfulness, Belief, love and kindness...its when the "Living" truly begins! Cool number 7.
I hope the pictures are appropriate. I posted the most tame ones we took. If you look at the skin graft spots ( slick bald spots), that's where my scalp "used" to be. you can see in one of the pics where my scalp looks a little bunched up and has a rumpled rotated look. That's because...well, it got rotated! hah. My graft areas are supposed to flush out with my hair line with the build up of scar tissue. No I will not have hair growing back on the graft areas. I think I am going to start a new trend with my new hair style! ha. Yes there is another "wonder" surgery to get all my hair back but its the last thing on my mind. I just want to heal and heal I am. Cool number 8.
Last on my list is "Cools" is you...My awesome friends and family who have supported me, encouraged me, held me, did for me, loved me, loved my family, so I say Thank you, God Bless You! COOL NUMBER 9.
All for now-----love todd.

A Maui Jim Thank You and field report

I have been meaning to tell my little Maui Jim story for some time now. When the accident happened I was wearing my trusty 5 year old Maui Jim sunglasses. The shock and burn were not 6 inches from my eyes which received no eye injury in the incident. My sunglasses frames were slightly melted and I cracked one of the lenses when my face hit the deck. I was impressed with the performance of these glasses in this situation and in every other situation for the last 5 years. I sent off my glasses to MJ for repair and told them about what happened. I specifically told them that the breakage was my fault and I thanked them for making such good glasses that protected my eyes. I was ready to gladly pay for the repairs but the warranty dept ( Ryan ) had another idea. They sent me a complete new pair free of charge!! THANK YOU MAUI JIM. I was sold on MJ long before this accident but am now completely unwavering in my support for such a great company. Their customer service has ALWAYS been prompt and super fair.
So here's the plug-------Buy some MJ sunglasses and you won't regret the comfortable, crystal clear optics and cool style. Yes they cost a chunk but well worth it in the long run.
MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM MAUI JIM

Field Report--------
Ok so I didn't really go to any field yesterday, I thought it sounded official and cool to say "field report". I did go my doctors office though. Ruby carefully unveiled my head and got it ready for Dr. Kirt to look at. I asked for some mirrors so I can survey the territory as well. I am no doctor but when I saw my head it looked...tight, neat and healthy. No gooey stuff. Actually it reminds me of a golf course with my skin grafts being the sand traps! hah. Dr. Kirt ( Kirt is really a PA but he is just too skilled and awesome to say just "Kirt") looked at my head and really liked what he saw. Healthy, no soft spots, no red spots. Yeah!! I was gearing up for another chin strapped head wrap but Kirt asked Ruby to put on a ( big technical term ) "Beanie." I was so happy I felt like hugging someone! Can't tell you how great it feels to be free of the chin strap drain tubed foamed up jobber.
As you may recall I had a tube going inside my scalp to help with drainage. Prior to my beanie wrap they removed the tube. Did it hurt? Dr. Kirt placed his finger just above the tube entry point and yanked it out of there! Honestly, I didn't feel a thing. Wew!
If the above is not good enough news I have more. Dr. Kirt said I should take my beanie off on Tues and have a full shower and wash my head. Thereafter I just need to keep some ointment on my scars and wrap it up if I go out. Cool! Did some one say "full shower"? This next shower will be my 5th full head to toe shower in over 50 days. I am excited. Remember my earlier blogs about being thankful for the little things? Yes I am thankful for this simple thing called a shower and maybe you will be thankful that I am having a full shower as well so you don't have to put up with the smell anymore! hah.
I am debating posting a picture of the real deal here on Wed or Thurs. I don't want to gross anyone out. I might give a little distance in the shot to lessen the look. Frankenstein and I make a good pair! hah.
Have a great day.......Until next time.....Todd

I..... think I can I ....think I can I ...think I can. I ..think I can. I think I can!

I feel like I am that Casey Jr. train just cresting the top of the mountain. Could I have just had my last structural surgery? Dr. Peter says everything looks great and I'm on the mend. If I can fort off infection or any other complication, I will be cruisin' down the other side of that mountain!

I did my usual ride down the hall ways into the operating room. This time I was first for the day and was in la la land before 6:15 am. I joked with the surgical staff before my trip to la la land to see if they had, say, blue head wrap stuff but they laughed and said they only do white? Why is that anyway? Dr. Peter and Heather and I talked before surgery where he would take the second skin graft from. We finally decided to take the skin from my leg right next to my first donor site. After attending a Burn Survivors Support Group meeting last Thursday. I saw with my own eyes and heard with my own ears about what others have gone through. One man had both his arms and body burned badly and they had to use both his legs for donor sites. This man said they took so much skin from him that the only spot to take blood pressure from was right on his ankle/leg area that just had skin harvested. Every 15 minutes, squeeze, pain, squeeze, pain. My 2 little donor sites are small potatoes compared to what many others endure. I am limping a bit with my current donor site and can't imagine trying to walk with both my legs getting peeled!!
I awoke from my 6th little surgery and was walking to the bathroom by 8:11 am....yeah I looked at the clock. When you have been down for 50 plus days, getting out of bed as fast as I can after surgery is kind of an athletic event..you know...its a guy thing! hah. On Saturday I offered to help a certain someone assemble an almost assembled bike that they were giving to a certain someone else for Mother's Day. Naturally I had to take it for a test ride to see if it was working properly. I was a little scared to put both feet on the pedals but I just had to do it. It was a blast cruising around the driveway with the bike. Kind of a dangerous thing for me to do right now but what a boon to my mental repair! ( Can we keep this just between you and me? if Heather found out she might be a little upset! ha.)
It's pretty much protocol to have a patient stay the night after a skin graft so that is just what I did. After, I bet, 20 days in the hospital, I was bored and ancy. Don't get me wrong though, the nurses and docs where their usual incredible selves, but I just wanted to get out of there. Imagine the guy I met at the support group meeting who spent 10.5 months in the hospital and 5 of those in ICU! This man tried to save his brother from a burning home and paid dearly for it. Sadly his brother died.
So what is next? I go back to GBC for the unveiling of my head on Monday. I am hoping to drive myself this time. Dr. Peter said he may take the current drain tube out of my head but will have to wrap me back up for more healing. Except for the poking and cleaning, how nice it will be to have my head ( and chin) free of the gauze and garb for a few precious minutes. I am hoping they can wrap it back up so that my ears will show but the chin strap has to stay to keep the covering tied to my head. Once again I end a post here with a grateful heart. Inconveniences or not...I'm alive. You're alive. Yaahhooo!
Sincerely, the guy in the white wrap.----Todd

PS. A special hello and thank you to my Oregon contingent. Some of you I don't even know and you care so much. Thank You!. God Bless You!

PSS. Happy Mother's Day to, of course, to all you mothers out there! I know I am thankful for the mother of my children, Heather. She is an incredible woman and has been by my side during this little bump in the road! Blessings.

Don't say Wound, Don't say VAC!

Hello to my trusted friends and family.
I made the familiar ride down the halls on my way to surgery and was met with the usual chipper and friendly surgical staff. I transferred over to the operating table and saw the big light as I looked up to the ceiling. My anaesthesiologist gave me a painless IV and things got cool inside my veins. I had some oxygen via mask and as I looked up to Salar who was coming by, everything went blank.
Oh the bliss of being under! I awoke to my wonderful friendly nurse Patricia and of course one of the first things we talked about was what was on my head and coming out of my head. Patricia gave me the good news about not having a "VAC" on my head. Yeah! segway...Have you ever seen that movie Lost in America? There is a seen where Albert Brooks wife blows all their money at the gambling table...even the ever sacred "nest egg" money. He was quite upset with her and was shocked by what she had done. Albert Brooks in his anger says to his wife, " you may never say nest egg ever again...Don't say Nest!...Don't say egg!... It was a funny movie and I encourage you to see it. I think of the "nest line when I think of the Wound Vac...Don't say "Wound", Don't say "Vac" ever again---hah. Its not really all that bad but after being a guy who used to "get up and go" the WV is limiting and a nuisance! At the same time it is a privilege to have such great technology even though it may be annoying.
The doctors said my head looked really good. No infection. They are being careful to only do small adjustments to my head and that is what they did. Dr. Peter and Kirt moved my flaps ever so slightly and sowed and stapled it all down just right. As I mentioned before they were going to do a skin graft but they installed cadaver skin ( temporary graft)on my new open areas to make sure things don't get infected or get messed up. It is getting a little confusing for me as to all they are doing and why but I do trust them and that trust will lead me to surgery #6. On Thursday I will have a small 3/4 x 2 inch graft. Lord willing, this will be the last one for a long time. There is talk that I will need to stay in the hospital till Sunday but I am hoping I can leave and come back..We'll see. They want to keep close tabs on this final and important step of my recovery. Electrical wounds are very tricky and tough to treat. The wound keeps throwing challenges at my awesome docs and they just take it all in stride one surgery at a time. Thank you.
Currently I am wrapped up like a super mummy with a small tube coming out of my head and a little bottle tucked in the wrapping that captures extra fluid. I call it the Poor man's Vac because it acts a little like the WV in that it draws the fluid out of the wound area? I could have it all wrong though. I also got a great reminder of why I don't take the narcotic family of drugs for pain. For some reason I was given Delotted and spent the day trying to feel better. On the way home in the car I "exited" the things in my stomach and felt much better. Even though I am not officially allergic to narcotics I have it as an allergy on my chart for further use. The walking has gotten better though surgery sets me back a little as I get all the anaesthesia and drugs out of me. The fingers are still the same and I rarely even think about the scars from my burns up and down my right arm.

My favorite hymn is Take My Life And Let it Be. In the second verse says:

Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of thy love
Take my feet and let the be swift and beautiful for Thee.

I look forward to days of hands moving and swift feet and moving those hands and feet at His impulse.
God is Good.
Todd

Surgery #5

Well folks, my last post was just before surgery #4 where I had 3 options of outcome. You guessed it, I came out of surgery with a VAC on my head again. As the doctors lifted one of my skin flaps they saw that my galea had turned to mush. the galea is a fatty cottage cheese tissue layer that connects to the skull. Our scalps connect to the Galea. They removed the Galea from that area and laid the flap down onto my skull. All this is causing a little flap rotation which in turn will cause me to have another small skin graft on my head.
Most of you know that I have kept a strong sense of humor and good attitude but after coming out of surgery I got pretty low. It was real hard to open my eyes to another Vac and at least one more surgery. I am feeling better now and am ready to fight some more. My mom and I are encouraging each other to stay tough as she battles cancer and I battle this wound. My mother is "the" toughest non compalining person I know. She is always cheerful despite many many months of not feeling well. As I hit day 45 in all this I am once again reminded of those who suffer for much longer.
I go into surgery on Monday morning 5-4-09. I will most likely spend the night or two and then be home for more recovery.
My eye still has Iritus but is not giving me any pain. the drops I'm on has me not seeing so well but that's OK.
My legs are working a little better and that is encouraging. My finger tips still have the numb/asleep feeling but it seems like the numbness is mostly in the tips of my fingers and not the whole hand.
All we can do is pray. Pray that all this flap stuff will take to my head. Pray that I can stay stong mentally. Thanks for reading this. Your support is perfect...thank you!!!!
Todd