Half year mark.

Since my last surgery I have been down to the GBC several times for check ups. The good folks down there want to keep a close watch on these stubborn scar lines to make sure they heal up OK. I am on the last little itty bitty healing from my last scalpel encounter on Aug 19th. Everything looks fine and is healing up.
I am on my mountain bike 2-3 per week and getting stronger every week. My legs still feel weird but I am able to ride. My upper body is very weak and I need to get off my butt a little more and do some workouts beyond the bike.
A couple of great high lites from my last visit to Grossman was that I was able to visit with "Hope." She was in the hospital at the same time I was back in March. it was so great to talk to her. Hope will undergo a surgery in a couple of weeks to release the scar tissue on her neck. She is excited and scared to have the surgery. Nice to get the movement back but it is a pretty big surgery to. I suppose her littlest surgery was more invasive than my biggest procedures. Please pray for her. Talk about a tough person.
Moments after that inspiring visit I walked down the street to meet some friends I had not seen in 27 years. It was fun to catch up with Lori and Michele after such a long break. Pretty good emotional day if I really think about it.
I still get asked ( or told) from time to time that this whole deal has got to be really hard emotionally and physically. You know, all the pain, weakness and new wild hair do! I am settling to the fact that I have a crazy looking head but I feel more sorry about the person in the checkout line wondering what in the heck happened to that guy! ha. I catch people looking at me all the time. I am happy to talk about it but they have to ask first. I don't mean to be cavalier or cocky. Yes sometimes I look in the mirror or run my hands over my head in the shower and and think, Woah, dude, you got some issues up there...ha. but for the most part, the day to day and life I live, I am really fine with it. I guess all this tongue and cheek is be spoken because I am so thankful to be alive I don't care too much what I look like. You really have to try almost dying sometime to see what I mean. Life is a gift. Living longer than I should have is a gift. Vanity should be farther down our lists.
On a more somber note.
One of the toughest people I have know ( my mom ) Jackie is coming home from cancer treatments to wait out the inevitable. There is nothing more the good doctors can do for her. We are very sad. My mom has been a real "trooper" in all this. She does not complain. She continues to fight for life but it looks like things are winding down. Even when she is sicker than sick, she would always call me and see how my surgeries were going etc. She cares so much for her family that cancer will not let her stop caring and loving. Please pray for her, Fritz and our whole family as we go through this. I am blessed with a great mother. For 45 years she has shown me strength, service, love, an excellent sense of humor and a great example of a godly woman.
What about you? Are you seeing things as you should? God is the same today yesterday and forever. We are the ones changing, getting old, or hurt, or dismayed. Stay the course. For those who Love Him, we are just making a pit stop. My mom will hurt no more and for that I am grateful. Tearful? Yes, but oh so grateful.
Todd
PS--Don't forget to pray for Jacob Kirkendall. he is home for now and doing well but has a long road to go.

5 month anniversay celebrated in the halls of the GBC.

My fifth month anniversary was celebrated at the Grossman Burn Center having my 7th surgery. I had not mentioned this before in the hope that the 2 dime sized holes that popped up through a scar line would heal on its own. A month went by and these conduits to my skull would not close. On August 19 I got up once again with my faithful wife at 3am and headed to the halls of surgery. It was fun to see so many of the great care givers from before. So friendly, so kind.
The problem with these little unhealing spots was that my scalp around them was very unforgiving and not flexible. You would think a little office visit and a shot of Novocaine would have done the trick but no, I had to get on that familiar table and go off to lala land. The day after the surgery I was having more pain than expected for what I hoped would be some minor incisions, stretch and restitch. On Friday I went back to the GBC for a checkup and peak at the wound site. Much to my surprise I had a "new" stitched area that looked like a plus sign with 4 inches on each length of the "plus" ( see photo) Woah! No wonder this "little" surgery hurt so much. I thought I was getting kind of soft there for a minute! ha. The docs said it was quite difficult to get this stubborn area closed. Basically a mini muscle flap rotation was performed. I suppose I will be healing for another month. I was also tested to MRSA staff and it was positive. The docs are not sure if the colony of staff was part of why my scalp popped open or not. I am on some new anti-biotics to help kill this staff. As you may know, many of us have staff on ourselves. When the staff "colonizes" it is fairly harmless. When it gets infected is when you see the gooey sores that people get. That's no good for sure. At this moment I am not sure what I have. Monday will reveal more. You know, if you wouldn't mind, could you pray that this MRSA stuff goes away for good. This MRSA could be a link to the lengthy healing process....I don't know for sure.
Having a chin strap and head full of gauze wrap with a vessel drain for 2 days was a solid reminder to be thankful for the open air my head had enjoyed for the last couple months. On Saturday I will be back to bandannas and washing my head every day.

I had been wanting to write something for this month resembling the "greatest hits" of the last 5 months. The all time greatest hit was and is...You. I still shake my head and am amazed at the love and care I have been shown. My whole notion of God's love has expanded from Santa Barbara to Uganda, from Oregon to Tanzania, From college campus' to churches and everywhere in between. I am still being approached by people I don't know who say they were and are praying for me. Pretty cool!
Another highlight was learning to appreciate the little luxuries in life. Food, showers, and to lay my head down on a pillow. As I mentioned before, if you are feeling a little sorry for yourself that you didn't get to go somewhere or do something that you really wanted to do, just don't eat or shower for a few days and eating and showering will become some of those really cool things you get to do. I tried it and it works. ( I can't wait to put my head under the shower head on Saturday..Wahooo!)
What does it take for you to be humble? Does it take some kind of failure. Job loss. Realization of what and who God is? Another way is to get hurt. Its humbling to essentially get your butt kicked by something. This experience has softened my heart to Him and to people. Yes to people. Before the injury I enjoyed spending 'some" time with friends but now I really really enjoy it. So much that the night of my surgery I was at some friends house having a great time...I didn't want to miss out. Thanks Todd and Bonnie! Another funny thing was the realization that we were having 14 young life staff at our house from Wed. surgery day through Saturday. You might be thinking it was really hard to do this but no, it was and is a joy to have them. Of course having a wife with the gift of hospitality makes this a bit easier as well. Thank you Heather for all your love for all of us, including our new Young life friends from Austin Texas ! Great bunch of godly men and women. It has been a sweet encouragement to our family just to be around them for this short time.
Oh and yes, what about this idea of not whining or complaining. I have to admit that I have caught myself complaining a couple of times since my injury. Bad boy Todd. Complaining and whining is so unattractive and gets us no where. Be thankful, Be strong, Be kind. This no whining idea kind of leads into one of my favorites, be a SURVIVOR not a victim. There really is no more room for any more victims in our world. What happened has happened and you and I are alive. We are here, we made it. I Survived!
Contentment. I think pre injury I was less content. I wanted to do things I wanted to do and do them now. I even think I had this "angst" about doing the things I wanted to do. The Lord has taken the place of that angst and yes, I still do things I want to do but if I don't do them it's more Ok, no big deal, I'll do that later. What a blessing it is to feel content.
This next one might seem silly but I still have this strong sense of the joy it was to ride a bike for the first time post injury. It was like being a little kid again. Remember when you learned to ride a bike for the first time and how cool it was to just ride around and around? It was a little interesting to ride post injury for the first time due to my Neurological balance issues I was having. I decided to go for it and thankfully I kept my balance and had a wonderful time.
Its those little things in life that make us smile more often than the huge blessings we may receive from time to time. Don't forget to look for those "little" things when you go out and about this week.
I can go on and on but won't. I surely hope things are going well for you. If not I hope the Big picture will give you cause to be thankful, content, and enjoying Him.
Later-------Todd

PS__Please keep praying for Jacob. Jacob's Journey He has a long road ahead of him. Another reminder of how easy my injuries have been comparitively.

4 months, 1 cateract, Jacob and a long drive.

I was reminded once again that I don't want to drive home after 2pm from Sherman Oaks. The 1.5 hour trip took nearly 3 hours.
I first stopped off at my eye doctor, Dr. Baskin and told me my Iritus was finally gone but why am I still seeing spots? Apparently I have a traumma induced cateract. Dr. Baskin said he has seen this kind of thing happen to people who have had trauma. He wants to watch my eye for a few months and sometime later I suppose I will get the short quick surgery.
I then continued on to GBC and met up with Dr. Peter. I still have some open spots on my head and they were acting infected. When they rotated my scalp there was a pinky nail sized spot where they could not close the scalp together. this area healed over then turned grey and then became an open wound again. Dr. Peter said the open spot goes right down to my skull. I will go back on the 27th and if it is not closing up He will do a little precedure in the office and stich it together.
Sunday 7-19-09 marks 4 months since my accident. its been an incredible road of support, mercy and Healing. I am still thankful, still feel fortunate, still feel blessed, and still am so glad for your support and love for this old guy and his family.
I have just heard about a 17 year old boy who was shocked by high voltage. Jacob was shocked while at the beach of all places. if you have time could you please pray for him? He is just getting out of being in an induced comma and is in a lot of pain.
Here is has blog. Jacob's Journey: Small steps
He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Job 1
See ya.
T

3-19-09 - 6-19-09

It has been an interesting 3 months. I still look in the mirror and wonder if it's all real or not. Twenty one days in the hospital. Another 3 weeks of sporting a head VAC and six surgeries. Can it all be real and true? Apparently it is.
I made the familiar trek to the Grossman Burn Center for a checkup. Nice to see Dr. Peter , Kurt, Corrina and Lilly. The place was abuzz with patients but Dr. Peter still took the time to hang out a bit and talk. As Dr. Peter examined my head we talked about future reconstruction of my scalp. First I need to wait a good six months before I do anything. The idea would be to expand the scalp I have by basically stretching it with these surgically installed "Tissue Expanders". The stretched out scalp skin would then be spread out over my bald spots and ..Walla!, the bald is gone. The result would be a fully restored head of hair. This does come with a price though. 4 surgeries over several months and the tissue expansion makes one look like....well...like a guy with a huge tumor on his head. These baseball sized expansions would get bigger and bigger by way of injecting fluid into the Tissue Expansion device. The big question is: Do I really need to do this? Heather has informed me that she will not leave me if I remain like I am...hah but on the other hand she thinks that the restored scalp would serve as a great protection against skin cancer, cuts and bruises. Part of me think it vain to do this stuff and the other part thinks its a practical matter. Do I want to wear hats and sunscreen on my head for the rest of my life? Not that big of deal, I am getting used to the hat thing. Its funny, when I talk to my balding or bald cohorts, I don't get a lot of sympathy. They look at me like "What's the big deal" Hair loss loves company I guess? I have great empathy for those who have life altering body changes such as the badly burned. People like to look and stair and wonder. My deal is nothing like that but I have to say I am self conscious of my head and how I "look". It's been a good exercises in what is important and the whole vanity thing. Are you OK with a chunk of scalp missing from your head? I am beginning to think the answer for me is..YES. Our society puts great emphasis on looks and beauty and I am part of that thinking. I like when someone thinks I am handsome as I suppose you do to. The far greater compliment though, is when someone thinks you are beautiful inside. We settle for the exterior stuff way to fast. Maybe because for some it is easy to be good looking because you were born that way. Not much to work at. Other's spend a great deal of time to get looking good, we all have our blessings right? I wonder if we spend more time thinking about our outer beauty instead of our inner beauty? How do others see you as a person on the inside? Ask them some time, you might be surprised.
I don't mean to put some kind of guilty trip on us but I do think it worthy to at least think about. I was really not sure of what to write on this 3 month anniversary. Funny what comes to mind.

Needless to say, Dr. Peter liked the healing on my head and I will now wait 3 months till my next office visit. 3 months? Wow, I am going to miss the GBC gang. It was great to see a few of the nurses and medical staff. I couldn't help to look a little in each room as I walked by. New people in the beds, new injuries, new issues. You know how we say the term "circle of lfe" well I thought of that term in an injury sense, "circle of injury". We keep hurting ourselves. sometimes by our own dumb fault ( me) and sometimes by someone else. The injuries just keep coming. I must say it felt really great and really not great being there. I loved seeing my nursing friends but as I walk in a hospital now, I have this "all to familiar" feeling. Can't move too much, being wrapped up like a mummy, needles, pain, surgery, burns, dressing changes and the like. Kind of surreal I guess. I hope I am not conveying complaint here, its just a feeling I got whilst there. One good bit of news I did while there was that the lady who was burned so bad code named "Hope" is at home now. She has daily contact with GBC but a least she's home. Continue to pray for her and all of the 34 occupied beds at the GBC.

As you can imagine I hear many stories of how others have been shocked or electrocuted. The newest story was told to me about a woman who was told to shake the sparking temporary power pole at a construction site. The strung up wires were buzzing and sparking and the best advice was to shake the pole to get the sparking to go away. This shaking brought the lines down on her head. She was shocked with 220 volts and spent 2 full months in the hospital and still has brain function problems. When I heard how bad this woman was hurt with 220 volts I was humbled to be alive after a 13,200 volt experience. I have been hearing so often that "you are lucky to be alive" and so on and yes that is what I kind of want to hear but it is said so often its lost its impact. When I heard this story about this lady it renewed that idea in a special way. Luck? That word seems so random and shallow. If we do not believe that God is involved with ALL of what happens to us, we need to open up our bibles and get our theology right. Why was I so graciously spared? Why are others not spared? Not sure myself or anyone can answer such questions. All I can do is be grateful for being spared, be grateful for life, grateful that I know this incredible God, grateful for friends and family and know that God has more plans for me
(and you) as long as we are breathing on this earth!

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads out there.
See Ya------------Electro Todd

Reminder

Hello there sports fans. how ya doing today? I hope well.
You gotta love these self portraits! ha.

On my last post I ended with a sentence that asked if you would remind me of something. You might think I am a little wacked for saying this....Ok so I am a little off! ha.
I want you to remind me over the years of this experience. Remind me that I almost died. Should have died. Remind me how big God's love is in all of you. Let me know when I complain and remind me how I did not want to do that anymore. Remind me of what is important, God family and friends. Remind me that I wanted to serve God in whatever capacity He wishes. Remind me of the thousands of prayers, dozens of cards, and many gifts that were sent. Remind me about the huge number of people who prayed for me that I didn't even know. Remind me how Jim Peterson grabbed me and kept me on that roof. Remind me how awesome the Potter's Clay staff handled the situation and was so well prepared. Remind me of the incredible care I received from doctors and nurses. Remind me how great Heather handled the situation and cared for me so well. And according to Gracie, remind me to be mature.... ha.

here is a quote that really sums up how I feel. ( Thank You Rosemary for the quote)

The pressure of difficult times makes us value life. Every time our life is spared and given back to us after a trial, it is like a new beginning. We better understand its value and thereby apply ourselves more effectively for God and for humankind. And the pressure we endure helps us to understand the trials of others, equipping us to help them and sympathize with them....

todd

hi everyone! i just wanted to say a word of thanks coming from a daughter who loves her dad very much (though he can be immature at times (; ) and is very thankful that he is still here with us today. thank you to all the friends, family, schoolmates, teachers, and everyone else who have been so caring, thoughtful, and loving to me, as well as the rest of the family. i appreciate and love you all so much! Happy Summer!!!
-Gracie

Released!

Released from what? Well, at my last doctors visit Dr.Peter and dr Kirt said it was time to play! I have been given full clearance to start any and all activities. After a week of chin wrap and soft spot, this is awesome news! I will have to admit I was getting a little rebellious with my chin wrapping toward the end of the 7 day sentence. After some 50-60 days out of 70 with Vacs and gauze and Mepolex and the like, I was getting a bit ancy to be free. It was music to my ears to have them say that the wrapping is over.
Concerns? Not too many.
1.There is a chance that I might get some in grown hairs on my head from how my scalp is growing in on each other.
2.My eye still has Iritus and after some rebellion in the eye drop department, my eye started to hurt some today. Note to self. Take eye drops.
3. Fingertips still numb and tingly.
4. My feet are a bit numb and tingly especially when I take off my shoes.
5. My legs are working a little better but very uncoordinated by pre injury standards. I had an informal talk with a neurologist and he said. " Basically you are going through a major "reboot" and you will be fine in 6 months".
6. My head is feeling pretty good but it has its tender spots.
Not saying these things as complaints but as information. Number 5 has got me concerned but I need to give it and all the items Time.
A friend asked me the other day how I was really doing with this whole thing? Am I really this "up"about the whole thing? Have I put myself in a corner with portraying this resilient attitude?
Answer- I remember coming out of surgery 4 with a VAC back on my head. That was some hard news to hear and it took a couple days to get it together. I was pretty down as I shared in a previous post. It was kind of funny that after Dr. Miua saw me he upped some medication I am taking and shortly after that I got a visit from the staff Phsycologist (Jonathan). Jonathan is a cool guy and talking to him is fun but I learned that one must be careful what they say in a hospital!! ha. I admit I was getting agitated with the whole head wrap deal, partly because some of it did not make sense to me. There were some days when I felt beat up particularly when I was basically blind with Iritus and after getting my sight back( thank you Dr. Baskin) I went to a doc appointment for my head and they poked and picked and packed and I had not taken any pain meds. Yes that was a hard day but really I feel thankful and blessed and ready to go on. I must give credit to God for getting me through this without great mental anguish. HE is Stronger than any situation. To tell you the truth I am way more affected by the fog than this injury. I have SAD, Seasonal Affected Disorder. The fog monster comes into Santa Barbara seemingly often and it really gets to me. I try to fight through it but after a few days I sometimes get down. Again, not complaining but sharing. Enough of this.
I was able to get on my bike in a real way yesterday. I rode 6 miles. It felt good and I went along at a pretty god clip. When my muscles are under tension they work better. Cycling has been something I have been doing most of my life so it is a good fit.
Sorry this update did not come sooner. My computer is on the blink and I didn't realize how easy it was to post from another computer.
Well I need to go. Chores to do, push ups to conquer and I was even thinking of trying some hits on my speed bag, ( boxing bag hangs from a platform....good for coordination).
Thanks for listening, praying and being the best support a fellow could ever have.
I will be posting about once a week until there is no more to say in case you want to know.
Stay tuned for next weeks post..I need you to remind me of something.
Todd